Have no fear. The weeaboo is here.

The New Scenery

The setting is a battle arena, which is, of course, a very typical anime arc. The trope can be found in Yu Yu Hakusho, Hunter X Hunter, and every one in five shonen fighting anime you can think of.

Obviously, the battle arena arc’s a big cliche which is very old in the anime world but still alive and thriving. However, it makes more sense in RWBY than in any other application I’ve seen so far, since the premise of RWBY is essentially a distorted reality that allows for colorful, bullet-blasting fun. Because the battle arena arc allows for raw fighting without any need for plot or justification, you can feel the studio having a fucking blast with all of their freedom.

The arena itself isn’t boring, however. It doesn’t lack creativity. Random terrains are selected for each match, two used in conjunction. Since RoosterTeeth is great at battle choreography that pertains to the surroundings, this is a great choice with a lot of potential.

RWBY vs. ABRN

Our beloved Beacon title team goes up against Team ABRN of Haven Academy in episode one. Our terrains are the traditional ice and lava.

Team ABRN’s designs are gorgeous and creative, loud and detailed enough for RWBY while still bringing a fresh new flavor to the show’s palette. They were brought to us by the newbie of RWBY Erin Winn, who also designed the 2D background of volume 3 (the 2D art in RWBY doesn’t suck for once!!!). He also designed the weapons with the help of a veteran animator. Hope to see a lot more from him in RWBY’s future.

Fun fact: Nadir’s hair was originally designed as bright red before they turned it pink. I guess the staff is acknowledging the fact that a disproportionate number of their characters have red hair.

We begin the scene already partially through the battle and see brief cameos of every Team RWBY character throwing their punches before the scene really kicks off. This is a fairly simple way of re-introducing the characters, but it really provides a sense of the battle’s pacing. We get a sense that the characters are fighting even while they aren’t on screen, so the rapid switching between characters is really only a series of snapshots or highlights rather than the only bits that are really happening. It provides much more speed and naturalism to the fight.

In the first one-on-one bit, Blake fights it out with the crazy-haired Reese. Reese seems to defy the terrain rather than adapting to it, often opting to hover around on her hover-board (especially when she’s at a disadvantage). Meanwhile, Blake’s semblance still seems effected by Weiss’s elemental pellets, so she’s adapted and prepared to slip and slide with the ice’s surface. Reese loses this little battle, succumbing to the elements when her hover-board can’t protect her and slipping on the ice to her rear.

We then switch over to Team RWBY’s buff tank, Yang, up against ABRN’s own tank, leader Arslan. They both clearly excel in defense and offense, exchanging hits and yet continuing to pummel one another, and as one might expect from a couple of bad-ass tanks, they crash fists only to meet each other with equal strength, followed by a flurry of molten rock.

But alas, Yang loses this battle to Arslan’s tactical advantage. While Yang has amazingly high strength and defense, her movements lack strategy, and she follows her “punch first” instinct. Arslan, on the other hand, was on level ground with Yang until she pulled out her weapon, the rope dart, which allowed her to alter Yang’s movements similarly to how Pyrra’s semblance alters the motions of metal. If Arslan had a more strength-based weapon, then Yang might’ve won out due to her semblance (the power to absorb her enemy’s attacks), but she lost due to her lack of strategy.

Next, Ruby encases Nadir in ice (not sure how that happened, but I’m sure that it makes sense, so whatever), which is a very brief exchange. This is refreshing since it contributes to the fluid pacing of the battle, as well as the speed and naturalism. Also, Ruby exhibits her abilities as a sniper, which really emphasizes her range of abilities and attributes. 

The one big, glaring mistake appears immediately afterwards, when Bolin (black-haired guy) speaks, making himself noticeable to Ruby. However, Ruby does nothing. My first thought was, “Why isn’t she getting up?” But then Weiss rescues Ruby, and I thought to myself, “Oh. That’s why.”

Ruby obviously doesn’t see Weiss coming, so the fact that she does nothing simply because this is Weiss’s moment is a little bit silly. I would’ve been satisfied if Ruby had just begun to get up when Weiss rescued her, but by doing nothing, it looks like Ruby is just saying to herself, “Oops. Messed up. Guess we’ll have to lose now. Oh well.”

Next, Ruby and Weiss take on Bolin together, and this fight has a very strong start because we see the two relying upon each other silently, without requiring any commands or even eye contact. They simply know each others’ fighting styles and act upon instinct.

There are just a few moments of pause in this battle where one or more of the characters seem to wait for their “turn”, but overall, there’s nothing that can’t be explained by tactical decision-making.

When Bolin evades both of the characters’ attacks, he’s established as an agility-based fighter. But if you play any RPG’s, you might know that agility-based characters tend to have exceptionally low strength, so Bolin works best as a supporter.

Thus, when Bolin escapes Ruby and Weiss, he goes straight for the dust crystals and passes a piece to Reese (thereby supporting her). With her hover-board charged, Reese sets free Nadir and returns to Blake for a re-match.

When Reese attacks doppelganger Blake and then receives an ass-whooping, it’s mainly just cool. But it’s also worth noting that Blake won due to her intellect, and with her doppelganger semblance, it’s her tactical talents that keep her (almost literally) untouchable.

Again, we see a bunch of characters zipping by with their own conflicts, which again provides us with a sense of speed and naturalism.

I’m going to skip the bit with Weiss attacking (and conquering) Bolin and Nadir, since it’s really not that interesting. What is interesting, however, is the strength with which Arslan shatters Weiss’s tumbling ball of ice. This is what establishes her as Team ABRN’s tank, strong enough to match Yang’s unbelievable strength.

It’s also just damn cool to see an enemy thwarting the schemes of the protagonists with such confidence. This provides a sense of believability, a sense that RWBY is stoppable.

RWBY’s final move is very unique with a creative use of the terrain. I highly doubt that Team RWBY planned this attack in advance, given that it relies so heavily on the setting. Even so, the team is able to do it all without shouting out commands. This is a huge contrast to volume 2′s a-little-too-anime-like streams of orders, instead of leaving the combat bare for the viewer’s enjoyment. Also, character development.

In this final move, Weiss becomes the team’s tactical officer, while Yang is the tank, and the other two move Yang forwards as support. It’s not surprising that Blake is on support again, since she’s practically even on support for herself when she’s fighting solo, but the fact that Ruby makes such a great supporter again emphasizes her vast variety of flexible roles and abilities.

This fight was fantastic.

I can only hope that the team will keep the quality up with Monty gone. It seems like Monty has left his mark on this one. Hopefully, the fantastic battle choreography will survive without Monty’s intervention.

May he rest in peace.

Anyway, sorry for ending the analysis and review on such a sad note. Whether the show goes downhill or not, I’m still looking forward to seeing more from it.

Thank you for reading!

HuniePop is an extremely well-designed dating sim and puzzle game available through Steam. Below its vapid and all-too-ridiculous surface lies a real treasure; intriguing characters, intriguing gameplay, and dialogue that resounds in perfect harmony with the challenges and puzzles. I consider this game very flawed, but it’s also much stronger than any puzzle game or dating sim (including the ones with datable dudes) that I’ve played in a long time.

Please note that this game is NSFW and includes “sex scenes” (that don’t really show much at all) and nudity.

Developer: HuniePot (indie)

Length of the main story (getting with all eight of the initial women): 7.5 hours Length of the main story + extras (getting with the eight initial women + four unlockable women): 12 hours Length of total completion (this is what I did): 22 hours

Demographic: Straight men and gay women (you can change your gender and the sexual orientations of the characters will change to match)

Genre: Dating sim, puzzle game

Story Overview

Our unnamed hero begins the adventure dateless and inexperienced, but with the help of a “love fairy” from another world, a lady named Kyu, our hero gains the love (or arousal, depending upon the character, lol) of countless people. One thing to note is that character routes lead up to their vague sex scenes, rather than most dating sims, where goals may include marriage, a “happily ever after”, or some other more romantic conclusion.

Gameplay

Upon bumping into a character, you can talk with her, buy her items, or go on a date with her (which is pretty normal for a dating sim). Dating is the central mechanic of the game, but talking’s pretty important. By selecting the correct choice, you gain Hunie, which can be used to upgrade stats. Every time you talk to her, she’ll get hungrier and hungrier, and if you want to continue talking, then you’ll need to buy her food using your Munie. And how do you achieve Munie? Through dates, of course. The fact that you get money from dates doesn’t seem to have any story-related explanation, but in terms of gameplay, it certainly works.

These dates are where the puzzle lies. The dates are a fascinating sort of tile-matching game. If your date goes well (it helps to have high stats), then you gain a lot of Munie and a full heart out of five in your relationship with the character. Get five hearts out of five and go on a night date with the character, and you’ll “complete the route”. And, of course, by getting Munie from your date (even a failed date), you can buy food, which you can use to talk to a character more, which gives you Hunie, which lets you upgrade your stats, which lets you go on more successful dates. You can use your Munie for other stuff, but that’s the basic gist of it.

Visuals: 3/5

For an indie game, the visuals are pretty good, but they’re certainly flawed.

The main issue is that the main sprites are anatomically inaccurate. It’s not crazy noticeable, but it’s kind of amateurish... Please enjoy this collage that I put together of just a few anatomical fuck-ups.

Additionally, some fans have mentioned that the breasts are not accurate to their hypothetical sizes, and beyond that, the sizes are sometimes inconsistent. I checked, and yeah, they’re totally right.

It’s weird that the anatomy is off in the main sprites, because when it comes to the pictures that the women send you, they tend to have much better anatomy.

I mean, sure, the photos aren’t perfect, but in the main sprites, the biggest issues are in the hands and the breasts-- and yet, in the picture above, those two things are not only correct, but also depicted in particularly complex ways.

Beyond that, though, the art’s pretty alright. There were some outfits that I liked, some hairstyles that I liked, and some backgrounds that I liked. The clothing and hairstyle designs tended to be relatively varied, but also consistent with each character.

Characters: 4/5

The initial eight love interests are all intriguing and dynamic. I have to say, I had very poor impressions within their first few dialogues, but the characters really turned out to have depth. Getting to know them was legitimately fun and interesting.

As for the four unlockables, I found them an odd bore. The easiest unlockable was somewhat of a downgrade, but the rest were out of place, irrelevant, and totally uncalled for. One of them acts like a particularly boring and predictable five-year-old. A predictable character does not bode well in this game; discovering the character becomes a formality, and that reduces the game into a typical, “Okay, we’re gonna let you play the game, but let us at least get through this bit of story first.”

Voice Acting (English): 3.5/5

The game gets extra points for being fully voice acted.

I absolutely loved some of the voices, but they sometimes sounded cheap or awkward. I loved Aiko’s actress most of the time, but she’d occasionally make the lines sound awkward. One of the unlockable characters, Celeste, had a great voice actress who really made each line interesting-- but her microphone sometimes sounded pretty shitty.

Some of the voice actresses, however, just sounded typical of the genre. Kyu and Tiffany, for example, sounded like what you’d expect from anime girl.

PS: Momo’s voice is shitty. (She’s an unlockable character, so don’t look her up if you don’t want spoilers.)

Music: 1.5/5

There are about ten songs in the game, and they aren’t even long. They aren’t even that good. It gets damn annoying after a while.

Story: 2/5

I want to complain about the story because a less ridiculous plotline would have much better guided the gameplay. This whole “love fairy” business is a bit odd to begin with (whether the intent is humorous or not), but I often feel like the way that the game “bends reality” could have much better explained the gameplay. It’s odd that the points we get from dates are currency. It’s odd that the pictures sent to us from the characters are never selfies-- why pretend that they texted the pictures, then? Why do the characters find it totally normal that we only “coincidentally bump into them”, and yet we do it so often, and yet we’re supposed to be dating, so we should probably be in contact anyway???

If we played as a call girl/boy who provided “girlfriend/boyfriend experience”, for example, then it would make a lot more sense. This would explain why the hero dates so many women, and it’d explains why the hero gets cash from dates. It also would explain why the goal is to say what they want to hear and change your answers from person to person...

I understand that’s a much darker plotline, but it sure as hell fits in more than a love fairy. The love fairy thing didn’t even make any sense! Her presence only explained the HunieBee (which could have been justified better with basically anything else), the “only you can see me thing” was only relevant at the beginning of the game and didn’t even change anything, and the entire presence of magic in the game was poorly introduced and poorly executed.

The “final boss” also shatters any sense of reality that the story had initially provided. The player may be able to accept that fairies exist, but... without spoiling anything, there is no way she could be Kyu’s boss. That makes absolutely no sense. It’s a non-sequitur. It’s random. It’s like a duck with a machine gun.

I also felt that the other unlockable characters were extremely random and I lost all sense of how these characters connected to the game-- as if they could’ve been slipped into any game and they still would’ve made an equal amount of sense-- but the ridiculousness of those characters is nothing compared to the ridiculousness of Kyu’s boss. Those two should be connected, after all, and yet they seem as if they’re from entirely different games.

I also wish that the storylines could be less rigid, and that we could actually see the lives of these characters outside of the one on one conversations.

Writing: 4/5

The dialogue of every character was fluid and believable, yet unique to every character. I loved it.

However, certain patterns become too repetitive. Why is it that the characters so often justify it when they eat unhealthy foods? Here are all of the “guilty pleasure” responses I could find.

Tiffany: I shouldn’t... but I can’t help myself!

Tiffany (again): I’m so bad, I know. I have a sweet tooth!

Audrey: I don’t care how fat this makes me. I’m eating it!

Nikki: Worth it, every time.

Jessie: How can something so good be bad for you?

Jessie (again): I’m so bad.

Jessie (again): I’ll just work it off later.

Beli: I had a light breakfast, so I’m sure it’s okay.

Beli (again): Maybe I’ll just have a bite...

Beli (again): Oh, god. I’m so weak... Mmm, but it’s soooo good.

[Unlockable character who I won’t name]: How am I supposed to stop eating this shit?

Celeste: I know it’s inadequate nutrition, but it’s so tasty!

Funny thing is, with only one exception, those are all of the characters that can eat unhealthy foods. It doesn’t make sense. Not everyone weighs the consequences of every fucking chocolate bar, and when they do, they don’t always talk about it.

Similar patterns show up. Every character occasionally says some form of, “What was I going to ask again?” before she asks a question. At first, this seems to add realism, but after the sixth or seventh person has said it, it seems repetitive and just plain unrealistic.

Gameplay: 4.5/5

It’s ingenious. It’s just a big, clever circle of fun. I love the puzzles, and I love the strategy put together in preparing for the puzzles. It’s very fun and very addicting.

I also appreciate the details of the mechanics; the four phases of every day, the fact that Lola is often out of town since she travels, the range of alcohol tolerances based on how often the character drinks... Someone really cared about making this game, that much is clear.

Overall: 4/5

The strengths of one category highlight the strengths of the others; intriguing dialogue drives the player to play better to unlock more dialogue and gain the favor of an interesting character. I’m too gay to be attracted to them, but I can only imagine how fun this would be for someone actually attracted to the characters.

Regardless of your sexuality, however, if you like puzzle games and you’re old enough for this shit, then I really recommend it.

And finally a couple of special categories for this review...

What Makes Hunie Pop Not PC

The protagonist is basically cheating on all of the women; one of the characters even expresses discomfort with open relationships

The player must be manipulative and choose answers based on what the characters like to hear; this often involves changing your answer when you speak with different characters

The Japanese character likes “Japanese gifts” and the Mexican character likes “Mexican gifts”? But it’s insinuated that they’re both American-born

No male love interests, obviously

Smoking is made “sexy”

The player controls the clothing, hairstyles, and other features of the characters

The characters represent goals, which can be called objectifying

The HunieBee, despite being a rationalization of dating sim mechanics, could also be called a “stalking device”

What Makes Hunie Pop PC

A racially diverse cast of characters

The hero can become male or female at the click of a button, which promotes both gender equality and sexual equality

Two of the characters have talked with the protagonist about polyamory and accept that our hero is dating multiple women

One of the characters is currently polyamorous

One of the characters is insinuated to be multi-sexual

The characters are represented as subjects rather than objects; they’re very human and are psychologically very diverse

Two of the characters are single mothers, and one of them became pregnant in high school; this character loves her child, but advocates for abortion rights for those who don’t want children

This is a show by Diomedéa, which is actually the same studio as Riddle Story of the Devil. (Which I personally think was great, by the way.)

I don't have much to say about this except that it's oddly perfect. The PV made it seem like another pandering Uta no Prince, but this here is a legitimately cutesy anime about boys - magical boys, nonetheless, which has hardly been done before.

There's some extent to which the show panders towards a female audience, but they do nothing unreasonable. The characters, thusfar, seem three dimensional and likable. The dialogue is fun and interesting, giving the viewer a real sense of the characters. And then there's the humor, which is surprisingly cute and witty. There are some... odd false innuendos, like how their wands/weapons are called "love sticks". And for some reason, battling is called "love-making"? But these are small things that don't get in the way of enjoying the show.

Even the animation is generally pretty good, which is great when you consider the yaoi proportions of Free. Even when the characters make stereo-typically feminine motions, it seems entirely natural, unlike the dancing in UtaPri.

Studio: A-1 Pictures (Sword Art Online, Black Butler, Idolm@ster, Oreimo, Magi, Anohana, Uta no Prince-Sama, and many more)

As always, A-1 pictures is good at making hideously bad content, but will keep you watching for its spectacular moments of bliss and wonder.

Current Number of Episodes: 11

Eventual Number of Episodes: 22

Source Material: Ongoing manga

Demographic: Shonen

Genre: Romance, show business, music

Quick Overview: A piano prodigy only two years before, our protagonist Arima Kosei is traumatized by the death of his mother, preceded by her physical and psychological abuse. She'd hit him just so that he'd keep playing piano for hours upon hours a day. Now thirteen years old, he hasn't played piano since her death, and the trauma still haunts him and has turned his world monochrome. Only when he meets Kaori, a daring violinist who disregards the original intentions of composers to transform songs into something of her own, does he return to the piano and begin to see the world in full color.

And The Review Begins

Conceptually, the show encourages some nasty behaviors - specifically, it encourages you to push others into what makes them uncomfortable, and the way that it deals with personal trauma is somewhat offensive. But that much is debatable within the context, so I'll just leave that issue aside for now.

The first three episodes were bad. They weren't bad to the point that I was annoyed, or even to the point that I was bored, but rather, I just didn't feel motivated to continue watching. It's definitely enough to keep you occupied, and it's certainly unique in a number of ways, but as usual, A-1 has forgotten basic strategies for structuring anime.

After the fourth episode's halfway point, however - what an astonishing change of pace that was. Suddenly, the script became brilliant, the story became intriguing, and the viewer could be swept up in the sound of violin and the lights of the concert hall. Keep reading to find out whether this anime is for you - I'll be talking a lot about the good and the bad.

Animation & Aesthetics: 2.5/5

Like I said, A-1 continues to forget how anime works. Even though some bits of animation are beautifully fluid and expressive, other bits are unbelievably poor. Moving mouths don't consistently sync up with spoken lines, some moments of animation are shockingly stiff in comparison with the fluid bits, animators obviously don't know when to cut to different points of view (by which I mean the imaginary "camera angles"), certain shots are frozen at weird times, and there are some very, very brief moments when, for no apparent reason, the animation is three-dimensional. This happens most often when Arima's hands are shown playing piano, and I'll restate a point I made about Sailor Moon Crystal: in anime, switching between 2D and 3D is sacrilege. It looks ridiculous, and it cheapens the style.

Now, here's another odd mistake I found. Look at the arm of the girl in a reddish shirt.

In certain frames, the outline of her arm disappears. I've never even seen that mistake made before.

To get more into aesthetics, the character designs of the main two protagonists are rather aesthetically pleasing, although the two side characters have designs that are both very generic and very cliche. The most notable choice, I think, is the mouths - the characters actually have defined lips, although I'd say that it's done very well. I dunno about you guys, but I've seen a lot of weird yaoi lips before.

It's good to see defined lips done well.

Defined anime lips are often made either too stiff or too bloated, but the lips in Your Lie seem molded to the face - as they should be.

The only thing is, it's very odd that eleven year old Arima looks like a small child, and yet two years later he looks like he's in his late high school years - not like a thirteen year old at all. They all look pretty old relative to their actual ages, but then again, that complaint can be made about a lot of recent anime.

Choices of color are generally quite good from shot to shot, and like I said, the animation can be wonderfully fluid sometimes. But yeah, there's quite a bit to complain about.

Characters: 2/5

These characters are generally pretty predictable and two-dimensional, which makes it hard to get attached to them. Limitations of the characters are only highlighted by limitations of the script, such as what makes which characters cry and how characters react to certain predicaments. Sometimes characters even feel transparent, like the writers are speaking for them rather than the characters being their own individual fake-people.

It's amazing how a studio like KyoAni can make you attached to characters with such ease, and yet A-1 just doesn't seem to get it. When they do make you attached to characters, they do it right (such as in Oreimo) - but I don't think this is one of their shows where they actually do viewer-character bonding correctly at all. I feel like I'm supposed to care about these characters, but I don't, really.

Voice Acting (Japanese): 3.5/5

The voice actors are all very talented - I mean, fuck, the protagonist is voiced by Hanae Natsuki, aka Kaneki Ken. But I don't think that they suit their characters. Hanae Natsuki is a great voice actor, but his voice isn't very flexible. It seems to me that he can only do one or two voices. Thusly, putting his soft voice to the boring character that is Arima makes both Arima and Hanae seem incredibly uninteresting. He can't highlight much of Arima's character with his voice, and the script does none of the work for him.

Music: 4/5

This show's a bit unusual for a music anime, considering the fact that they don't play any original pieces - it's about classical music, after all. However, while I'm not a fan of classical, Kaori's renditions are really fun and interesting.

The original soundtrack is also pretty good.

Writing & Story: 3.5/5

This is my field of expertise, so believe me when I say that the writing can be so bullshit sometimes, but at other points, so beautiful.

In terms of writing and story, the first three episodes were okay, sometimes reaching into deep lows. The first episode begins with a clip of Kaori, the love interest and violinist, chasing around a stray cat. Nothing else happens. It introduces her as a character, and it's a bit of a cute (although very simple) scene. Then, it cuts to the opening theme song. Now, here's where things go down hill.

Past the opening theme, we're shown a scene of Arima's back-story, playing piano as an eleven year old in front of a massive concert hall of people - it's a completely irrelevant scene to the first. The first scene suggested that Kaori was the protagonist, and contrasts with this scene of a different tone depicting a different person performing irrelevant tasks with incomparable conflicts. I immediately felt like I was watching a different show, and this was within the first few minutes of the episode. And these poor choices are made throughout the first few episodes, and even throughout the show.

But they didn't stop there. It then cuts back to the present to one of the two side characters playing baseball - after hitting a home run, she accidentally breaks a window with her ball, unknowingly hitting her friend Arima in the head as he's playing piano (well, sort of playing). We meet present Arima AFTER she checks the room and finds him stunned by the hit, lying on the floor.

Now, let me tell you what they SHOULD HAVE done, as any reasonable TV writer should know. The opening scene should have been young Arima playing piano. THEN, present-day Arima should have been shown in the music room playing piano (sort of), before he'd be hit in the head with a baseball that crashed through the window. And then the side character could be properly introduced. Same story, proper writing. I don't understand how a high-budget show with a team of writers could possibly make such rudimentary mistakes.

And poor linear story-telling is sprinkled all over this episode. Because of episode one's opening scene, you get the feeling that the stray cat that Kaori chases is important - and yet as the show goes on, it's not even vaguely relevant. For some reason, the theme song begins with that very cat lying on a piano, and yet it barely even shows up again. When the black cat makes its next appearance in the middle of episode 3, and Arima is leaning down and feeding it, Kaori doesn't seem to recognize it. She just exclaims, "Oh! A cat!" and they proceed to have a completely irrelevant conversation. It then shows up during episode 7 twice, and the episode seems to indicate that the cat is a metaphor for his mother. It feels random, even arbitrary. It's obvious that, overall, the cat is one of the show's ridiculously written metaphors, but it's just so silly that I don't know what they're going for.

...Yeah, that's another thing. There are forced metaphors all over the place. One of the primary metaphors is that Kaori is "inside spring", or alternatively, a bringer of spring. This starts in one of Arima's internal monologues (he started having these out of nowhere, by the way) as a description of her cheerful attitude, and when he started falling for her, he was shown lying down in the music room surrounded by cherry blossoms. This might be nice if the show weren't so straight-forward. But with the show's current tone, it seems absolutely ridiculous - like, okay, if the petals were shown floating in through the window and scattering around him, that would've been lovely. But instead, it's just not addressed, and shown as sort of a background element. Not to mention the dumb scene where this conversation actually happened (without Arima telling either character about the "inside spring" thing):

Boring Side Character 1: You think Kosei can pull this off?

Boring Side Character 2: Spring will be here soon.

Boring Side Character 1: *casually* Huh? It's almost May, when the cherry blossoms scatter.

Boring Side Character 2: Yeah... But... I just know... *dramatic pause* that spring will come.

That shit's dumb. No - the entire romantic plotline is dumb. Things only get interesting when Arima and Kaori play together, and their relationship outside of that seems way too vapid and way too immediate. He practically falls in love with her at first sight, and the scene in which they first meet is stupid as all hell - probably one of the worst scenes. But that's in episode one, and I don't need to tell you what's wrong with that piece of work, so have yourself a good time laughing your ass off during that bit.

But you know what? I'll tell you what's wrong with it anyway. It's like an over-dramatized scene from a shoujo manga except with a stupid-ass melodica, an idiotic two-minute subplot, oddly stiff dialogue, poor character introduction, and nonsensical character interaction. It establishes a false and way-too-quick relationship between Arima and Kaori, which is then overwritten but minutes later.

I love it when the show basically turns into an action anime with instruments instead of fighting, but when it does anything involving romance, it's just plain stupid.

...And now that I've told you how dumb the writing can be, I'll tell you how wonderful it can be.

In episode four, as Kaori is dragging Arima on stage, Arima delves into one of his internal monologues about how wonderful and bizarre Kaori is, until his words are suddenly and unexpectedly spoken aloud: "You're freedom itself."

And after Kaori's reply, the show broke every single arbitrary boundary it had set for itself, and the show became instantly beautiful. I won't tell you what she said or what happened once they walked on stage, but I will tell you that it almost makes up for every mistake in writing that they'd made before episode four, and I now have every intention of watching this show to its completion.

There's also an extremely powerful scene in episode nine that I have no intention of spoiling, but I will say that it's the only time Arima has been shown legitimately angry.

Side note: Some of the episodes have way, way too many flashbacks. I mean seriously - it feels like the content of the show is guided by flashbacks.

Overall: 3.5/5

Story of the Lyrics (in case you didn't already get it)

Alright, in case you didn't quite understand the plot of the song, it's pretty clear from the lyrics. This song takes place in a distant future where humans have accomplished everything - all of our distant "we'll get there eventually" goals have been reached. We know the meaning of life, we've seen every corner of the universe, and we've basically done everything else that was said to be more important than "individual needs" and daily life. But now that we've gotten there, life is boring. Everything's been accomplished already - so what is there to do? Miku, within this story, just wants to enjoy the little things. There are some simple but beautiful lyrics that get this across.

If I could have fun living, that would be nice, though If I could laugh a little at the gloomy future, I'd be glad, so

Are there still stray cats somewhere on Earth, do you know?

But it's more than just the little things. She also mentions that flying cars have become a "hindrance", likely because everyone is just obsessed with efficiency and doesn't want to enjoy life - but at this time when full efficiency has been achieved, no one knows what to do. This message is a little cartoony, yes, but I wouldn't take it so literally. It isn't supposed to be a realistic future. It's a message.

Pinocchio-P is seriously good at making poetic satire "without bitterness", and Tho, or as I prefer to call it, Nina, is no exception. Nina is a satire of all of the common line of thought that life is not about finding happiness - that it's about "improving as a species", about reaching some sort of "success" and leaving our mark on the Universe. Pinocchio-P argues that this is bullshit, that there's no shame in living life to watch the rain fall. He argues that it's best to live for today, rather than for tomorrow.

And Now For the Real Analysis

Okay, so there are three writing systems in Japanese: hiragana, katakana, and kanji. Hiragana and kanji are used to write native Japanese words, and katakana is used for foreign words. The phrase "it would be be nice, though," or "ii no ni na" is a native Japanese phrase, and therefore it's written in hiragana in the video.

Except, here's the weird part. Miku says the "ni na" in "ii no ni na" a second time - it just sounds like an echo, right?

But the echoed "ni na" is written in katakana, as if it's a foreign word. It's said three times in the song, but each time we see ni na written as a foreign word alongside the image of a cross. Ni na is even written in katakana in the title of the song.

So, what does "ni na" mean when it's not Japanese? My guess is that it's just the name - Nina. (That's why I prefer the name Nina instead of "Tho", since "Tho" only has one meaning and it's misspelled for nearly no reason.)

So, what the fuck does this have to do with the crosses? Here's a slightly more outlandish connection - one of the meanings for the name Nina is "mother", and "mother" put alongside the cross signals to the virgin Mary - maybe Miku is be likened to Mary in this story? As in, this is the story of Nina. The other possibility is that Miku is talking to this Nina or Mary, something like, "Although, if I could invent something that surprised everyone, that would be nice, Nina."

Regardless, Mary still has a pretty important part in this metaphor.

The science fiction side of this story is about how humanity has succeeded and reached all of its goals, but now we've all forgotten how to enjoy life (since we were too busy reaching for all of our goals along the way). The way that this translates to Mary is this: Mary had to watch her son, Jesus, die on the cross "for the sake of humanity" - but what did Jesus have to do with that? What did she have to do with that? While Jesus was the son of God, he was also partially human, and he didn't deserve to die for some spiritual balancing of the Universe. Why would anyone have to suffer? Maybe it did not effect his godly, inhuman side, but Mary, a suffering mother in a crowd of people, represents what was human in him, that innocent, feeling human being who did not deserve to die.

It all comes back to the same message: why must we worry about "improving as a species" and reaching "success"? What's wrong with avoiding suffering? What's wrong with finding our own happiness and the daily happiness of each other?

Studio Dogakobo has previously made anime such as YuruYuri and Love Lab, but this time they decided to get their shit together and make fans actually satisfied.

Sure, Gekkan Shoujo pretty much refuses to tell its stories outside the realm of comedy, but the cuteness is so intense that maybe, just maybe, the fanfiction will be enough this time.

Honestly, shoujo romance has spun out a lot of bullshit within recent years, almost comparable to the gargantuan elephant shit dump known as shonen romance, but Gekkan Shoujo is easily the most satisfying romance anime I have seen in a very, very long time - perhaps ever.

The easiest anime to compare this one to is Ouran High School Host Club. Why? Because it knows not to take itself seriously. Shoujo romance has long been known to throw dramatic hissy fits, swoon into unconsciousness, and spill broken glass on your kitchen floor as if you're not going to fucking notice that shit, but Gekkan Shoujo says no. Gekkan Shoujo isn't about dramatic echoing inner monologues about that mysterious boy you talked to once for five seconds like a week ago. Gekkan Shoujo knows how to have a good fucking time.

This show will have you both clutching your chest at the cuteness, cleverness, and wonderful everything, and have you smiling and giggling at all of the great humor. It's a very pleasant break from traditional shoujo romance.

...And okay, Kitchen Princess can be nice every once in a while, but if I wanted to see attractive men on their death beds, I would've read Kagerou Project. Not a taller version of Yume-Iro Pâtissière. Good god...

Quick Overview

Sakura Chiyo finally confesses her feelings for the dull-eyed but manly-looking Nozaki Umetarou only to discover that he misunderstood her confession. And then something very strange happens. Chiyo discovers that the the high-schooler is a shoujo manga artist, and an obsessed one at that.

Somehow, Chiyo ends up as Nozaki's inker assistant, being that she's a member of the school art club. On her silly every day adventures with Nozaki, she also meets three other assistants of his: Hori, the backgrounds guy; Wakamatsu, the screentone guy; and Mikoshiba Mikoto (also known as Mikorin), the artist of atmosphere and flowers. Hori also leads us to Kashima, the lady-loving female "prince", while Wakamatsu and Chiyo are both connected to Seo, the world's biggest asshole (but you'll love her anyway).

In total, there are three complex and adorable romantic subplots that defy typical expectations of romance. You'll laugh, you'll cry (because you'll just laugh that hard), you'll flip tables.

Animation & Aesthetics: 3.5/5

The animation is generally very fluid, while the visual style is pretty typical for shoujo. Although, interestingly enough, the protagonist is the only one with gigantic eyes. The other two females of the cast have eyes drawn in the typical "masculine" way.

In terms of character design, there are four characters with excellent character designs, while the other three (Nozaki, Wakamatsu, and Hori) are somewhat above average. One interesting detail of their uniforms, on the other hand, is that none of them wear the uniform in the same way.

From left to right, Wakamatsu has a cute, cozy sweater to fit his cute, cozy personality, Seo wears a standard-looking bow and for some reason no socks (???), Chiyo wears thigh-highs and a thick bow to match her cutesy look and personality, Nozaki looks startlingly average, Mikorin is wearing his shirt as a jacket and I am shocked that he has not yet been scolded for his disregard of school command, Kashima wears a pull-over and tie to match her sophisticated and princely behavior, and Hori wears a blue shirt and puts his tie in his pocket sometimes (what a fuckin' weirdo).

Characters: 4.5/5

Ahhh, I love the characters. Most of them are surprisingly well-written and multi-dimensional, and it's hard not to adore them.

My favorite is Mikorin. He has the appearance of a skater, the interests of an otaku, the rosey, flirtatious words of a host club member, and the inverted, childish embarrassment of the strongest of tsunderes. He has so many dimensions and yet so much consistency. He's basically the ideal character.

Some characters are more interesting than others - Wakamatsu, for example, is not very layered at all - but you'll see what I mean once you finish episode two.

Voice Acting (Japanese): 3.5/5

Average.

Music: 4.5/5

I'M SORRY, WAS THERE MUSIC IN THIS SHOW? I COULD NOT HEAR ANYTHING OVER MY BLASTING OF THE OPENING THEME SONG AKA THE SONG THAT WILL BE REQUIRED TO PLAY AT MY FUCKING FUNERAL.

"BUT CAMERON," YOU ASK, "IF YOU'RE SO INFINITELY FUCKING OBSESSED WITH THE THEME SONG FROM THIS ANIME AND ACKNOWLEDGE NO OTHER SOUNDTRACK FROM IT, THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU GIVE THIS SECTION FIVE OUT OF FIVE?"

WELL, YOU SEE, DESPITE MY CONSTANT FANTASIES AND WELL-ARGUMENTED LETTERS SUGGESTING RE-RELEASE, THE SOUNDTRACK DID, IN FACT, INCLUDE SONGS THAT WERE NOT KIMI JA NAKYA DAME MITAI. PLEASE WRITE DOGAKOBO STUDIO AND BEG THEM TO REPLACE EVERY SINGLE FUCKING SONG ON THE DVD RELEASE WITH THE OPENING THEME SONG.

GODDAMMIT, I WOULD WATCH THE ENTIRETY OF MERMAID MELODY IF THEY REPLACED ALL OF THE SONGS WITH KIMI JA NAKYA DAME MITAI, AND THAT'S NOT EVEN A JOKE.

PROPOSE TO ME WITH THIS SONG IN THE BACKGROUND AND I WILL ANSWER "YES" NO MATTER WHO THE FUCK YOU ARE.

UNLESS YOU'RE THE GUY WHO DECIDED NOT TO MAKE THIS THE NATIONAL GODDAMN ANTHEM.

HOLLLY SHIT, I LOVE THIS SONG.

Writing & Story: 4.5/5

If you can't tell, I really like this show!! It just... It just makes me happy to watch! Heck, when it comes to romantic comedy, it tops Love Stage, and that is hard to top for me.

The characters are cute, the interpersonal relationships are cute, the humor is cute, and everything is well written. It's clever on many levels, and it just makes me plain happy.

Overall: 4/5

I'm sure that all of us here remember that really awkward and frankly inappropriate scene at the end of episode three - when Ryouma turned "shoujo pink" while molesting Izumi and sucked up the poor boy's fucking tears.

Literally.

From that point on, I was horrified by the idea of the show portraying another sexual scene, as that would come with the possibility of more romanticizing non-consent and more cheesy as hell mood whiplash to boot.

And then episode six came along, hanging on a cliffhanger which I knew would start episode seven up with a moderately sexual scene. (I did read the manga, after all.) And while this particular scene was actually consensual on Izumi's part, it was still supposed to be uncomfortable for the both of them - something that I had little confidence that the anime would be loyal to. Had I been wearing boots, I would have shaken in them.

And yes indeed, things started to get dirty, uncomfortably cheesy music blasted through my headphones, and for a change of pace, Izumi turned shoujo blue.

At least no one's pink this time, right? 

(Alternate line: This must be Yosuga no Sora, because damn, is he feeling up that sora.)

And yes, for the first minute or so, the scene was painfully romanticized in a way that it shouldn't have been.

Until the creators took their own flaws and flipped them onto their fucking backs.

To my shock and wonder, before Ryouma's very own eyes, the sky Izumi faded from a dreamlike state into reality, back into tangibility. This is actually far more metaphorical than I had ever expected this anime to be capable of. When viewing Izumi sexually, Ryouma has always wished to disregard Izumi's own desires in order to seek out his own preferences, his own dreams. He made Izumi himself into a dream, not acknowledging the guy's individuality as a person. But within this scene, it dawns on him that Izumi is real and can't be treated like a manipulable fantasy. This even brings purpose to that molestation scene from episode three, as Ryouma was still disregarding Izumi's wishes at that time.

This scene was really well done. I was shocked. There was still a bit of mood whiplash, but it wasn't so bad since it was placed at the very beginning of the episode, a much more natural insertion than the earlier case in which it felt like a weird-ass afternote within the episode.

The rest of the episode was just unusually good in general. I counted the number of really good music tracks that I loved - there were six. I could be wrong, but I don't think that they were played before, either. I've felt like there hasn't been enough music in this show, but damn. Six unusually great tracks in one fucking episode? That's amazing. I've seen seventy one episodes of Hunter X Hunter and there were two songs from the soundtrack that I loved.

It was also just great getting more screentime with the characters, since the manga needed to be stretched out into a full anime. Little things like seeing Ryouma's full process in begging for Magic Lalalulu's mangaka to write Izumi a review made me really happy. I also loved to fucking bits the scene where Izumi dreamt himself into Lalalulu's world.

Dark Izumi's design is both great for parody and very cool to look at. Plus, the scene itself was just fun.