I'd kill a man for Adrien Agreste.

adrien is the son of a prestigious, well-to-do governor. he yearns for more excitement in his life than the monotonous societal conventions he’s been raised to adhere too

scarlet beetle, lady of the sea, is the most notoriously cunning outlaw for miles around. her reputation preceeds her in every port, and that of adrien’s home is no exception

after an incidental run in that neither could’ve predicted, adrien begs scarlet beetle to adopt him into her crew. he’s heard the stories about her, of course—they’d been meant as a stern warning to steer clear, but to him they were a fantasy come to life. he desires nothing more than to follow her to the ends of the earth, even at the risk of his cushioned life and pristine reputation. she reluctantly agrees, with the joking condition that he’d better not fall madly in love with her

adrien, now under the persona of “the stygian stray,” is a wide-eyed recruit. his sheltered upbringing lead to many misconceptions, such as the need to pepper sayings like “yarr” and “yo-ho” into casual sentences. initially scarlet beetle tried to dissuade him, however she quickly grows to find his persistent optimistic spirit more endearing than embarrasing

adrien likes to call scarlet beetle “red” (among other nicknames since her real name is a mystery), and is the only to truly get away with doing so. the day she returned his banter with a nickname of her own, calling him “her kitty,” he swooned so hard he nearly fell overboard right then and there

scarlet beetle’s pet peeve is being referred to as a pirate, though it’s technically what she is. she’ll always insistently correct it with “swashbuckler”

adrien ends up getting his two canines knocked out after a nasty skirmish. he consideres it a rite of passage, and replaces them with golden fangs in honor of his black cat identity

adrien likes to make all sorts of corny jokes to keep their voyages lighthearted, his favorite being the tried-and-true “what if the real treasure is the friends we made along the way?”

they routinely spar against one another. due to their upbringingings, scarlet beetle’s swordfighting is more rough and unpredictable while adrien’s is more smooth and polished. together the duo plays to one another’s strengths, while also supporting each other’s weaknesses, proving to be a formidable partnership

Like “Plagg, listen, Marinette’s not going to fall in love with anyone else, I promise you she doesn’t have eyes for anyone except Adrien, please just help get them together I know Adrien likes her back, I’ve seen the way he looks at her”

Meanwhile Plagg is like “No, Adrien’s so dumb. He’d never realize he likes Marinette. He’s so obsessed with being a good person and following the dumb laws. He wouldn’t ever even date Marinette even if he realized how far in love he was, because he’d think it was cheating on Ladybug. I promise you he’s the more annoyingly stubborn one, he won’t even commit felonies with me”

and Tikki’s like “oh you think Adrien’s unreasonable? Wait till you hear what Marinette did yesterday when Adrien said hi to her”

And their bickering just escalates over time as they’re arguing about whether Ladynoir or Adrinette is more feasable to acheive

They go through a series of halfhearted plans to get their owner to switch targets (which always fail)

and finally they’re both just like “screw it let’s just tell them it’s okay to date as Ladrien. That’s the only way that this will work. It’ll be way harder to actually date or interact very much that way, but it’ll be way better than all this useless pining”

Except as soon as they decide this, Marichat just accidentally happens? And Marinette’s just like “hey Tikki why did I never notice that Chat Noir’s really amazing and cute? I should’ve listened to what you were saying earlier. Anyway I don’t know where you went last night but just so you know, he’s my boyfriend now” and a similar thing happens with Adrien and Plagg

-

“Every 100 years or so, ever since the miraculous of creation was- well- created, the miraculous sees a spike in its powers. I don’t know the exact reason, except that I always feel like I’ve had caffeine injected in my veins and its impossible to sit still. The only way we’ve found to control it is by a performing a special ritual, and I usually spend time with Plagg afterwards, because Plagg’s my other half and he’s also affected during this time.”

Marinette nodded carefully at her kwami’s words, “Affected how?”

“He gets kinda cranky and sleeps a lot. Its like all his energy sort of ends up manifested in me. But then, it’s the same for me when his energy spikes come, so I guess everything balances out.”

“Oh, he also has this sort of thing happen? What about the other kwami?”

Tikki shook her head, “Just me and Plagg. Thankfully, his time isn’t to come for another fifty years, so we don’t have to worry about it right now.”

“Yeah…” Marientte ponders over the new information for a bit, before asking her question, “And how long does this go on for?”

“Something about a month.”

Marientte looks at her kwami with worried eyes, “Are you sure I can’t come to Master Fu’s with you?”

Tikki winced, “The ritual takes a while, there is no way you can help even if you wanted to and you’ll only end up wasting time.”

“But- “

Tikki flew up to her holder and hugged Marinette’s cheek, “I’ll be fine, Marinette. As much as I hate parting with you, there’s no other way. I’ll make sure to be careful and the other kwami can help me get back to you if something goes wrong, okay?”

Marinette still looked doubtful, but reluctantly agreed, “If you say so…”

-

When the time came and Tikki could feel all the excess energy starting to flow inside her, Marinette, like the good sport she was, dropped Tikki off at Master Fu’s for the first day before taking her leave. It was nice to see all the others again and since the Master had been kind enough to get everything ready beforehand, they were immediately able to start the ritual. The ritual helped in dissipating Tikki’s excess energy into her surroundings so that it wouldn’t have undesired effects on her body.

It took them about 3 hours to complete the ritual, after which Tikki said her goodbyes and was on her way to Plagg’s. No doubt the grumpy cat would have napped most of the morning and afternoon away, not that it was his exact fault. Plagg had always hated when Tikki’s high times came because it made him so sleepy all the time that he was never able to properly enjoy his cheese (his words not Tikki’s).

When Tikki floated into Adrien’s room, she was surprised to see that the boys were nowhere to be found. She was sure that Adrien hadn’t had any activity scheduled for this time (Marinette had assured her of this) but Tikki’s confusion was cleared away when Chat Noir appeared at his room’s window. He caught sight of Tikki and waved at her before climbing in.

“Plagg, Claws in.”

The transformation pealed away in a burst of green light, and Plagg came whizzing at Tikki from inside the ring. He crashed straight into her and Tikki squeaked in alarm, “Plagg!”

“Tikkiiiiiiiiiiiii. Tikki, I feel so tiiiiiiiiiiiiired. Make it stoooooooooooop~”

Tikki rolled her eyes and gave Plagg a fierce hug just as Adrien chuckled and said, “Its true. He didn’t even realize that I had called the transformation until it was already over.”

Plagg scowled at Adrien from Tikki’s arms and blew him a raspberry. Adrien rolled his eyes before turning to Tikki. “You two can go upstairs if you like. I’ve set some snacks and blankets for you up on the table. If you guys need anything, I’ll be here doing homework, okay?”

Tikki smiled appreciably as she gently pulled Plagg up against her, “Thank you Adrien.” She could feel Plagg’s exhaustion just by holding him, and knew that a few hours with her would help him get back on his feet. She floated up to the upper levels of Adrien’s bedroom and made herself comfortable where Adrien had made them a small nest, making sure that Plagg was as close to her as possible. The old cat had already nodded off and the sight of it made Tikki smile, “You’ll be okay, you grumpy tom.”

-

Over the next few days, Plagg seemed to be able to handle his exhaustion better and better. For one, he was getting good at not passing out immediately after Tikki showed up, which made Tikki immensely grateful, because this meant that she and Plagg could spend some rare to come time together. The reason Plagg was improving was because Adrien always took Chat Noir out right before Tikki came over, and while Plagg would deny it with his very being, being transformed actually helped regulate energy.

On the other hand, this meant that now, most of the time, Plagg was awake enough to argue with her.

“-You’re just saying that because you don’t have to live with him like I do! If I have to hear another ballad about how amazing and strong and courageous Ladybug is, I’m am going to throw up!”

Tikki rolled her eyes, “Oh please, Adrien can’t possibly be worse than Marinette. You’ve seen her room Plagg, I don’t ever think I’ve ever met a person more lovesick then my chosen.”

Plagg threw his arms up in frustration, “Well that’s because you haven’t yet spent time with my boy!”

Tikki was thankful that they didn’t have to worry about being loud since Adrien was currently out eating dinner, but these arguments of theirs were getting a little old. Frankly, after having been with their respective chosens for well over a year now, Plagg and Tikki both had reached their wits end. In the beginning Plagg had found the whole love square situation terribly amusing. But now, after having to listen to Adrien whining about the very girl that sat behind him in class, the one who had a crush on him, even a kwami like Plagg had reached the end of his patience.

Naturally, Tikki’s solution was Adrientte. All Plagg had to do was convince Adrien to see Marinette as more than a friend, and all their problems would be solved. Marinette was already completely smitten with Adrien, there was no way this would go wrong, right?

Except that Plagg insisted that Adrien was equally, if not more smitten with Ladybug to ever consider any girl besides her. The better option, according to Plagg, was LadyNoir. It was clear that Ladybug already had somewhat of a crush on Chat Noir, all Tikki had to do was convince her chosen to act on that crush.

But then Tikki reasoned Marinette’s crush on Adrien blinded her too much to even consider Chat Noir, and really Adrientte was the best for everyone.

Needless to say, things weren’t going well for Tikki and Plagg.

“If you’d just listen to me- “

“Lalalalalalalal I’m not listening~”

“PLAGG.”

“FUCK YOU TIKKI.”

“PLAGG.”

Tikki was this close to committing murder when Adrien’s head popped up from below.

“Hey guys, could you- “

“NOBODY ASKED YOU.”

-

After that incident, well, it was clear they needed to come to a compromise.

“I dunno if it’ll work Tikki.”

Tikki sighed, “I know what you mean. They won’t get to spend a lot of time together, but at this point Ladybug getting together with Adrien Agreste is the only way any of us will get some peace of mind.”

“I knowwwww, but you know how my kitten can get. God knows how much attention he needs after being neglected the way he is by his father.”

Tikki frowned darkly, “Sometimes I wish you would just cataclysm Gabriel Agreste.”

“You and me both Sugar Cube, you and me both.”

Tikki glanced at the clock hanging on the wall and separated herself from Plagg. “Listen, I have to get back now, okay? I’m sure the Enery Spike will end in a few days and we can decide what we want to do then.”

“Yeah..” Plagg yawned and waved her away, “Now shoo, I wanna get some sleep.”

Tikki simply rolled her eyes and smiled fondly as she took her leave.

-

The next day Tikki decided to go straight home from Fu’s. The day’s session, along with her existing worries had made her tired, and all she wanted right then was to eat a couple of cookies and sleep. But when Tikki was close enough to the bakery to see the balcony of Marinette’s room, she was surprised to see figures already up there talking to each other. Tikki got as close as she could hazard without giving herself away, but she was extremely startled when the one of the figures, Chat Noir, turned to her chosen and proceeded to peck her on her lips. Marinette giggled cutely and pulled him to her for another go, this one more firm and grounding. Tikki watched with a dropped jaw as Chat Noir smirked before jumping onto the balcony railing, bowing one last time to his princess before leaping away.

Marinette herself made no move to go inside, staring off dreamily into space until she caught sight of Tikki, who had come to hover on the balcony.

“Tikki!’ Marinette had the decency to flush red before asking, “How- how much of that did you see?”

But he does.

He doesn’t know whether it’ll help, or what his goal is; all he knows is that the idea of seeing anything like that happen to her again, even once, might be enough to strike him dead.

He doesn’t know when it gets into his head that he needs to balance the scales, but he finds that the idea stops him from losing his mind at night; every successful Akuma fills him with visceral terror, now, but if Ladybug makes it out unscathed, then that doesn’t matter.

–

It takes her weeks.  The first time she heard it was ‘17′ after he shoves her out of the way of a petrifying ray.  Then ‘24,’ ‘29,’ ‘40.’  He’s counting up, and she knows it, but the what escapes her.  Every time he says another number, it comes out almost desperately, and that worries her.

It’s just under a month before he reaches 100, and, as he mutters the number to himself, over and over, and limps in what must be a homeward direction, she knows that she has to ask.

–

When Ladybug asks him to meet her later that night, he doesn’t know whether he should be excited or worried.  She always seems to be busy when he suggests they spend more time together, so whatever it is, it must be important, right?  The idea occurs to him that maybe this is the day she’s decided to return his affections, and he chuckles.  Probably not, but he can dream.

He lies in his bed, alone with his uncertainties and the bruises that are a source of comfort as much as pain, because they’re not on her.  Every ache her powers didn’t quite wipe away is a reminder that he’s a step closer to balancing things out.

–

He’s almost late.

Almost.

He lands, and staggers, before straightening up, and giving her a cocky grin.

“Milady?  To what do I owe the invitation?”

She pauses, and realizes that she doesn’t know how to put this.

He seems to recognize her uncertainty, and his cheer drips slowly away.

“Ladybug?”

She casts about for the words, and can’t seem to find them.

“Is everything alright?”  He’s worried, smiling nervously, and he shouldn’t be.

There are no better words to use, so she uses the ones she can find.

“What are you counting?”

He blinks at her.

“What?”

“I…  I keep hearing you…  You’re counting something, and…  I…  You’ve been acting strange.”

He pulls up an easy grin, marred somewhat by a twitch, some muscle in his face seemingly unhealed.

“Oh, just a little personal project.”

He’s lying.

“Chat Noir…” she says.

He hesitates, hesitates again, and rolls his eyes.  “I’m just counting how many times I get you out of trouble.”

She blinks, and…

The strange moments make sense, now, but…

“Why?”

He takes a breath, and something she doesn’t recognize flickers behind his eyes.

“I just thought it would be fun.”

She looks him in the eye, and she can see in his face that he’s nervous, but he doesn’t flinch away.

She looks down, and then, after a second, looks back up.

“No.”

“What?”

“You haven’t just been counting.”

He doesn’t have a response for that.

“You’ve been looking for chances.”

“Ha.  Well-

“You haven’t been taking care of yourself properly.”

Now he flinches, cat ears twitching away from her.

“I can take care of myself, Chat.  You don’t have to worry about me.”

She meant the words to be reassuring, but as he opens his mouth to respond, she can see words forming and being discarded.

“I…  I know that you’re strong.  And I know that you’re capable.  I just…”  He hesitates.  “If something happens to you, we can’t purify the Akuma, and if it could hurt you in the first place, then an army of them…”  He trails off, looking down.  “But, if it happens to me…”

Her fist clenches at her side, and she steps forward.

“Chat Noir,” she says, pressing the palm of her other hand into his chest, hard enough to make a thump.

He jolts, looking at her.

“No,” she says.

“What?”

“No,” she repeats.  “You’re not allowed to think like that.  I…  Listen.  I know… technically…”  she sighs, the sound coming out aggravated.  “We’d handle it.  I can’t…”  She shakes her head.  “I’m sorry.  I probably sound ungrateful, and…  You don’t know what it’s like to see your partner beaten up, over and over, okay?”

“I have dreams about it,” the words come out in a whisper, like a carefully kept secret, and he doesn’t meet her eyes as he says it, staring instead at his feet.

He looks up, tears in his eyes, and it feels like a punch to her stomach.

She lets out a breath, like the shadow of a laugh, but not amused.  She shakes her head.

“So do I.”

The words are gentle, an admission of the same secret he was keeping.

–

It shouldn’t surprise him, but the words seem to tear at him.

“I just…  What if I can’t find my lucky charm in time, or…   Or if I detransform before I get the chance?”

He’s crying now, and though he can’t see properly, the way her voice quavers tells him that she is too.

“I…”  he swallows, trying to find something worth saying, and whatever he was planning, it vanishes as her forehead thumps gently against his chest.

He can feel her shaking, now, and he does the only thing he can think of, wrapping his arms around her, in the vain hope that it might help.

It only seems to make her shake harder, but before he can retract his arms, she returns the gesture, and the two of them sink slowly to their knees.

“You shouldn’t have to save me,” she mumbles.

He laughs, a weak, shuddering sound, entirely devoid of humor.

“You shouldn’t have to carry the weight of an entire city.  I can’t just let you carry it alone.”

“You don’t.  You never have.”

“I…”  The memories are still there, 25,913 times that he did.  Times that he didn’t help her, couldn’t save her.  And he can’t say a word about any of them.

He tightens his grip around her.

And, somehow…  As he pulls her closer, it feels almost as if he’s found the version of her that matters.  Surrounded by an ocean of failures, she’s still okay.  She’s still breathing.

marinette’s favorite lip gloss flavor just so happens to be bubblegum. whenever they kiss, it reminds adrien of the first time they got to know one another

sometimes their lucky charm bracelets get tangled together when they walk hand-in-hand. it takes them a while to notice since they don’t wanna stop holding hands anyway

they both have a habit of singing or humming to pass the time. alya thinks its ridiculously sweet (and very disney-esque) how flawlessly & unthinkingly they slip into duets.

they like to sit on the edge of the place des vosges fountain and simply talk for hours on end. it doesn’t seem like much to passerby, but it means the world to them considering how marinette used to be unable to get even a single sentence out around him

after they’d started hanging out more, marinette once commented about how she‘d never realized just how funny adrien really was. his ears & face were pink for the entire rest of the day. a few more similar situations made her realize that complimenting his personality was almost always a sure fire way to get him to blush (though she still reminds him he’s the prettiest person she knows for good measure, too)

it’s become somewhat of a tradition to wear ridiculous outfits to the theaters whenever they have movie dates

adrien got a crick in his neck their first week of dating caused by constantly turning around (or even just leaning his head back) to get a look at marinette during class

adrien keeps bandaids on hand (ladybug & chat noir themed, naturally) for days when marinette stumbles and he doesn’t catch her. when he does catch her, he likes to joke, “gee, marinette, if you wanted a hug that badly all you had to do was ask!”

they like to study together, be it chinese, homework, or whatever else. it’s a good way to squeeze in time together despite having fairly busy schedules

Adrien: You.

Marinette: What?

Nino: Adrien, dude, you are all about romance. How could you NOT know???

Adrien: How am I supposed to tell the difference???

Nino: *sighs, defeated* She makes your heart go doki doki?

It’s not on purpose and he doesn’t really realize he does it, but like he feels really safe around Ladybug, like she’s not gonna get annoyed that he’s talking or that he’s not gonna get in trouble for talking out of turn or saying the wrong thing.

There’s always been a sense of pressure when it comes to talking when he’s not transformed, especially in public where anything could get overheard.

It got worse after his mom disappeared because he ended up being the only one the press had to talk to about what happened, his father never left the house anymore so all the fresh questions and rounds of harassment that shouldn’t be aimed at a child were because he was the only one with “answers”. So he always had to be careful about saying anything because what he says is the only story the press will have, and if it’s wrong it could paint the family badly and he’ll get in trouble. 

But with her he never feels like he has to worry about that, his family name isn’t known, and while sure in battles she scolds him sometimes for joking too much, when it’s just them and their feelings, she makes him feel safe, and heard.

He doesn’t feel like he’s got a timer for how long he’s suppose to talk for, or a level for how excited about a topic he should get before it became “embarrassing”

He never finds himself pausing with worry and a ’I’m talking too much’, because she’s always staring at him with a smile, that while sometimes laced with amusement or even fondness, is always genuine.

Because she’s not listening for things she can use, but listening because she cares.