A little bit of everthing

Sometimes, i feel fear, desperation, but also temptation at the same time. I feel them together, clashing, dragging me down and raising me up at the same time. Im desperate for attention, to be loved, and im tempted to reach out to someone, anyone, but i don't, for the reason being that im so fearfull of rejection in anyway. So i stay put. Stuck. Trapt in an awkward and uncomfortable position, but i cant shake the fear, and i keep telling myself that if i move the next position will be beyond uncomfortable. It will be unbearable. Eventually i become used to that uncomfortable position im in. I become almost comfortable, though deep down ik its all relative. I push that thought aside each time it tries to reach up to feed my fears and drag me down further. I stand on what little patch of ground i have left. The water surrounding my island always threatening to swallow what land i have left. I don't think about it, like I've said i have found comfort in a situation where there was none. Im comfortable, except for that temptation to switch positions. Its a cycle, but all cycles can be broken, and a secrete was shared with me. You cant change while your comfortable. Its going to get uncomfortable but you have to push through and i have realized that things that seem unbearable don't last and in the end you are better for it.