Sam And Cait Shipper

Roald Dahl

Dear Married Anon,

Three possibilities on this one: a) you watched 90 Days Fiancé for way too long and with no attention to details; b) you think I am an idiot, with no legal knowledge or experience; c) you are an idiot, with no legal knowledge or experience.

Your question comes with two strong biases, too: a) that you somehow are privy to such nonsense and b) the old & stale fake vs. organic marriage refrain, regarding C (that, by the way, proves that I did hit a nerve).

I am not very sure to whom exactly do you think you are talking, here. But if I do know one thing is that you, honey, are a Mighty Twat. If you wanted to be consistent with the crap the Gay Crowd spreads around, you could have gone for 'he needs a more solid/credible beard than that', instead of the completely inane 'he needs the residency'. What is he, Burmese? Oh, FFS. And by 'Burmese', I mean exactly this: are his life/personal safety in clear and present danger, in his home country, because of his ethnicity and/or political views? The answer is no, and he could still use his right of asylum. Does he need the US residency in order to secure a better paid job for himself? The answer is no: lots of other avenues can be explored and are routinely being used by thousands of foreign actors/performing artists, in order to legally work and reside in the US. I have even mentioned it before:

(Full October 2023 post, here: https://www.tumblr.com/sgiandubh/729979831079649280/mordor-says-he-returned-only-for-visa-reasons)

But let's suppose even a nanoshred of what you wrote could technically be correct. When you are an US citizen and you want to bring your significant other to live with you there, you basically are offered two options:

Scenario One: you want to bring your fiancé(e) to the US and get married there. You will need the K-1 visa, as anyone even remotely familiar with that reality show I mentioned knows. That doesn't exactly click with a hastily cobbled 'new American bride' he would marry until December 31 and this is why, according to the US Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) own website:

[Source, LOL: https://www.uscis.gov/sites/default/files/document/guides/A2en.pdf]

'You have met each other in person within 2 years before you file this petition'. Who is it, then? The whore? She is French. The chatty influencer? She's 'so over him' (FFS, LOL). Alice 'he's mine and will never be yours'' Panikian? If you think so, you are aff yer heid on cheap gin. Hm? Ashley Hearn? Met her too late and you all know it. A secret lover? ROFLMAO. And psst: Raya girls are just for fun, they don't think homestead. Cross my heart, Anon.

Current and official USCIS average processing time for fiancé petitions at their (logically) California Service Center is:

But it could be as long as 26 months and a half, if he decides to settle for a Vermont beauty (LOOOOOOOL).

You should also know a couple of other things, Anon. First thing is he will not be able to enter the US under the type of visa he currently more than probably holds, in order to do so - that would be a heavily punished immigration fraud:

Mhm. Restrictions on his ability to future immigration benefits/permanent residence, fine and imprisonment. I hope I do not need to further develop, on this one.

Last thing you should have taken into consideration before writing this bullshit is that the fiancé visa would restrict his ability to go back to his own home country during all the waiting time. Why would an actor refuse work opportunities in the UK or in Europe for the sake of a fake marriage, as you called it yourself? Oh, if you only had a brain!

Need I say more about the grueling in-person cross-check interviews ? You should watch a wonderful movie starring Gerard Depardieu (a pig alright, but he is perfect, in there) and Andie MacDowell: it's even called Green Card, LOL. Few things changed since 1990, and if anything, the screw got only tighter. Not to mention the fact he will be unable to work in the US during the waiting process and she will have to prove she can sponsor/provide for him! ROFLMAO.

Scenario Two: you get married abroad and want to bring your spouse to the US, afterwards. You will need to file the Form I-130 (Petition for Alien Relative):

[Source: https://www.uscis.gov/sites/default/files/document/guides/A1en.pdf]

All this does, in reality, is put the spouse in line with thousands of other similar applicants. Residency will be granted only after extensive background checks and this is where I would like to stop for a while, Anon. You are with the Gay Crowd, right? Then how does this logically click with your long established talking point about his 'once very public gay life? Ah: he isn't gay? ROFLMAO. You see, being gay is a bit like being pregnant, Anon: you can't be 'just a little bit pregnant' and you certainly can't be 'just a little bit gay', either. Spare me the drivel 🙄. Kindly note those background checks are dead serious and could result in deportation - thought you should know, before you spew idiocies again.

Onwards with that residency thing:

If S were in Scotland/the UK when the 'legal fake bride' would file in the petition, he would not be allowed to come visit or work in the US: why would an actor be forced to turn down lucrative opportunities in Hollywood or elsewhere in the country, for the sake of bearding or circus only? And while S could technically apply for permanent resident status if he already were in the US at the time of the application for I-130, he would still not be able to work and therefore must be sponsored by the 'legal bride'. ROFLMAO, again.

I mean, this is so ridiculous I could cry. He would be invited to come to the US only after the petition is approved, which does not click with your suggested timeline and the seeming 'emergency situation' ('he NEEDS the residency', your ask shouts at the Entire Universe) . Why the haste? Just because you wanted to somehow shoehorn it in, somewhere before Inauguration Day? I have no words, but my paunch hurts with laughing right now.

Finally let's have a look at processing current times:

But it could go as long as...

I cannot stress enough that permanent residency will be granted only after the processing time is completed.

Why, oh, why would someone so inextricably complicate his entire existence in such an idiotic fashion, Anon? And finally, give me and yourself a break and read the damn political room, here, too. I will not elaborate, but I surely hope you do not live under a rock.

I rest my case, thank you, fuck off.

I'm simplifying this a bit, but people who obtain Lawful Permanent Residence/become a Lawful Permanent Resident under this visa are granted conditional residency for 2 years. The conditional residency is terminated if DHS determines the marriage was fraudulent, which wouldn’t be good in and of itself. He would need to leave the US because he wouldn’t have lawful status.

Also, let’s say he later obtained an O-1 visa and wanted to use that visa to apply to adjust his status to a Lawful Permanent Resident. He wouldn’t be able to do so because would be inadmissible (basically barred from entering the U.S.) due to the fraudulent marriage. When you adjust your status, you have to be both inspected and admitted in to the U.S. He would meet the inspection requirement but not admissibility. He wouldn’t qualify for any of the waivers either.

If he really wanted to establish LPR status, the best thing for him to do would be to apply for the O-1 visa (which may be the visa he already has) and then apply to adjust his status to a LPR. Not all visas offer a path to LPR status, but that visa does. No need to risk inadmissibility to the US in the future when this is a perfectly viable path to LPR status.

Dear Leaving Anon,

You are correct, she confirmed it not once, but twice, in two different posts:

Posting these before she gets harassed by *urv and the Wailing Banshees Disgruntled Tumblrettes and goes private.

[Later edit:] Adding her very clear post along the lines of what you described, Anon. Thanks!

"This has been our history."

This is our history. And what an amazing history it has been, with you. And you, darling. Couldn't have picked a better person to go through time with.

I am certain that you have noticed it too, but I cannot resist writing about it.

A gif 'borrowed' from @themusicsweetly , TY!

You know, I appreciate details, I believe that small details often reveal more about a relationship between two people than grand gestures and declarations, although these are, of course, very  nice.

Did you notice Sam's fingers tightening on Cait's shoulder?

The squeeze lasts for less than a second and appears to be a deliberate pounding out of a secret rhythm, like Morse code.

I find it endearing. They have their own bubble. They have always had it. Now I can die in peace because I'm already in heaven.

😇

"She's firstly a really great human being. Very calm, a great actress. So that's I guess probably the first point of reference, to sort of understand what's going on in the scene. We all love her. The crew want to do their best for her. We all do as the cast as well. So I think she's going to do an outstanding job. She just doesn't realize that she's probably going to have to direct the whole season once they realize she's that good." —Sam Heughan

"It's going to be such a privilege. I've had the honor and privilege of acting next to him and with him for almost ten years now. And I know how amazing Sam is. He knows his character inside out, but he also has such a great vision for what works in a scene and what doesn't. I think my job is just going to be trying to help and be a good support." —Caitriona Balfe

tvweekmag

https://twitter.com/displaceintime/status/1667421715100741632?s=61&t=bKONqjAWo3C2lGx0FJnDkA

NOBODY TOUCH ME😭