I watched Knights of guinevere and I NEED MORE GIVE ME MORE NOW

He avoids it when he first dons the cape and brands start using his name to make money. “Superman’s favorite cereal!” Okay, sure, whatever. He likes cereal, no big deal. “Superman’s favorite shoe polish!” Fine, that’s okay too. It’s funny and harmless.

“Superman would support mass deportation!” That’s where he draws the line. He creates a Twitter account and types out a multi-entry response on the spot, atop a skyscraper in Manhattan.

“I’m an alien,” he writes. “Literally and in the immigration context. I’m not trying to be rude, but please don’t assume my political opinions align with yours. In this case, your assumption is both incorrect and offensive.”

And of course, of course that sparks a shitstorm. Now people are Tweeting at him directly and asking what he thinks about things. Now people want to argue with him. Now he’s a trending topic and more often than not, it’s for shutting someone down in progressively aggressive ways.

“I support your First Amendment right to free speech. Unfortunately for your organization, freedom of speech means freedom from government retaliation, not freedom from social consequences. If your racism gets you into trouble, I cannot and will not assist you.”

“Please remove my symbol from this poster. Your organization intentionally spreads misinformation about pregnancy and resources available to pregnant patients to dissuade them from seeking abortion. I do not support this.”

“This is the third time I have had to comment on your network’s use of my name. You peddle conspiracy theories and easily disproven nonsense. Stop, please and thank you.”

“I personally approved the Downtown Metropolis Library’s use of my photo at Drag Queen Story Time. I’ve never had to rescue anyone from drag queens. I have, however, rescued more than one child from your church, pastor.”

“No. You’re sexist. Stop mentioning me.”

And of course, of fucking course all it takes is one post from Batman to shut everything down.

Jinu: Okay, we need to argue about something. What should it be?

Baby: Oh, I don’t know, maybe that you dragged us all into this only to try and betray us for some girl? 🤨

Oh to have primitive lungs and gills