I am an Insult to the Dead

knowing how it tends to go with male authors and their wives it was probably marge who wrote the odyssey

I am very under tattooed, I need to lock in

This is the way you’re supposed to do pranks!

I try SO hard not to make faces when I hear someone around me say wild shit but I just can’t stop myself

once you realize you don’t actually need to sleep, you can really (stops talking abruptly and stares straight ahead for 4 minutes)

what's wrong babe you barely yelled "uH i sUrE hOpE it DoEs" when we passed that road work ahead sign

Having a job is an awesome way to stay hydrated because you get so bored you start drinking water just for a little excitement

I had to snack to stay awake at the desk 😅