Figuring out Opposite Actions
Sometimes it’s hard to figure out your initial emotion that you know you need to act opposite to, and once you do, it’s still hard to figure out how to act opposite. This post will deal with common emotions and how to act opposite to them.
1. Fear: Fear fits the facts when there is a threat to your or someone else’s life, health, or well-being. However, when it doesn’t fit the facts, it’s important to act opposite and do what you are afraid of doing over and over again. Seek out opportunities to act opposite to your fear. Keep your eyes open, take in information, breathe deeply, and keep a confident posture and tone.
2. Anger: Anger fits the facts when a desired goal is blocked, you or someone are attacked, hurt, insulted, or threatened. When it doesn’t fit the facts, opposite action would be to avoid the person making you angry, take a time out, do something nice, imagine empathy for the other person, keep your body from being tense, and breathe deeply.
3. Disgust: Disgust fits the facts when you are in contact with something contaminating, someone you don’t like is touching you or someone you care about, you are around a person or group whose behavior could be damaging. Opposite action to disgust is to move close to the disgusting thing, be kind to those you find disgusting, imagine empathy for the person or group you find disgusting, take in what feels repulsive instead of tuning it out, and keep your body relaxed. Also, distract from disgusting thoughts and refocus on sensations.
4. Envy: Envy fits the facts when another person has what you don’t have or has something you need. When envy doesn’t fit the facts, acting opposite involves not destroying what the other person has, counting your blessings, stop exaggerating what others have, keep your body from being tense, and breathing deeply.
5. Jealousy: Jealousy fits the facts when something in your life that is very important to you has the danger of being taken away. When jealousy doesn’t fit the facts, acting opposite involves sharing what you do have, letting go of others’ controlling actions, stop snooping/spying, don’t avoid, keepy a relaxed posture, and breathing deeply.
6. Shame: Shame fits the facts when you will be rejected by a person you care about if something about yourself, like a behavior, is made public. Opposite action when your behavior doesn’t violate your morals is to make your behavior public with people who won’t reject you, engage in the behavior in public repeatedly, don’t apologize, and keep body posture proud and innocent. Opposite action for shame when your behavior does violate your own morals is the apologize publicly, repair and make things better, don’t use the behavior in the future, and accept the consequences. The final way to act opposite action to shame is to forgive yourself, acknowledge the causes of your behavior, and let it go.
7. Guilt: Guilt fits the facts when your behavior violates your own morals. Opposite action with guilt is not justified and you will not be rejected if found out are to tell people who won’t reject you, engage in the behavior publicly over and over Don’t apologize, keep a proud and innocent body posture. Opposite action for guilt that will lead to you being rejected if found out is to hide or use skillful means to stay in your group, join a new group that fits your values, and do what makes you feel guilty over and over in your new group. Validate yourself and recognize why you feel guilty. This of course does not apply to dangerous behaviors.
