Hag Knight

My knight has returned positively famished from a long journey. Luckily I have something warm and sweet for them to eat to their hearts content.

Princess who touches herself in the night when she thinks everyone is asleep. Her sworn sword gritting their teeth and forcing themself to remain outside her door even when they hear her moaning their name.

I’ve been trying to get the princesses attention for almost two years and today I snuck my masters pointed hat and cloak out of the tower and wore it during my leisure hour and she said hello to me! I suppose as princess it makes sense for her to want a man in power(ful robes)

She (princess) let me hit (grovel for attention) because I promised to keep the armor on (I can’t get it off)

I hate posing for portraits they always make me do lame shit like sit with a “demure” smile and pet a Pomeranian. And I ALWAYS have to wear the big fancy dresses. The wizard literally loaned me a hat and robe and there’s a perfectly good abandoned tower in the forest and you’re telling me you want to paint my portrait in the drawing room? Where there aren’t even creeping vines or lurking ghouls! Where’s the *pizazz*