my knight keeps saying fuck it we ball before charging into battles and it's reallynot inspiring confidence in my heart

#ryland grace#phm#rocky the eridian#project hail mary spoilers


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my knight keeps saying fuck it we ball before charging into battles and it's reallynot inspiring confidence in my heart

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Please let the Tiny Squire get across your screen, his Knight needs that sword.
Announcement horn*
You're listening to
*Sword sharpening SFX*
102.3
*Yelp of surprise*
Real Squire FM
*Parry Sound*
"W-Wha-?!"
Where we play nothing but songs of our Knight's accomplishments.
*The sound of the Squire falling over* "Ow"
This isn't your Knight's Statio- Oh, Ser Knight! How can I-
*The Squire is loudly cut off as Imagine Dragons - Radioactive starts playing*
It’s 10 o’clock. Do you know where your squires are?
forget dating apps I’m going to stand in the middle of the joust field looking lost until a knight gives me their helm and sword to take back to camp

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ignore the suspiciously rhythmic clanking coming from the jousting champion's tent please. its fine. the squire is probably trying to get the dented chausses off. nothing to see here
My knight could totally beat- beat off- no- beat of- no! Beat up your knight. Shtt fuck. Sir I’m sorry I did it wrong he’s drawing his blade
Knight and squire go to the bathhouse together after a journey, ready to be scoured cleaner than they've been since they were born.
Comfortable companionship as they are tended to by a brilliant bath maid, clearly one the knight is familiar with, but nothing too sexual. Perhaps a little yearning from the squire, not so much for either of them, but brought to the surface by the fact that they are horribly touch-starved and haven't been tended to like this since they were a child being bathed.
Knight noticing how pliant and relaxed the squire becomes and filing away the information silently, resolving to give the squire more touch in appreciation, in comfort, in companionship.
Knight silently filing away the idea that it would probably take little more than some gentle touching and caressing to render the squire all but speechless, that they might have found a very enjoyable new way to curb the squire's attitude. Not that the knight generally minds too much when the squire mouths off, but the knight can't help imagining the delicious, flustered look on the squire's face if the knight were to treat their sharp tongue with soft touches, how quickly the squire would melt.