Ugh

sorry for having a huge cock and correct opinions on everything. as if it’s my fault.

olivia thriving off the *crazy ex girlfriend image* media threw at her just like ms swift makes me so proud

I love being bi and having horrific taste wish I could put it on my resume

Parents be like that’s my emotional support eldest daughter

parents be like that’s the third parent in the family, my eldest daughter

parents be like that’s my parent, my eldest daughter

parents be like that’s my unpaid therapist, my eldest daughter

how i sleep knowing i will never have the skin clarity of a man who washes his face with a 3 in 1 shampoo

toddlers with glasses make me want to cry like you are so small and you can't even see properly. you are so small and your glasses are so big. don't even get me started on when the glasses are the kind that go around the head so they won't fall off or when they make their eyes look bigger. literally cryung just thinking about it

i can't believe a bunch of grown men named Josh showed up to some random park with the intention of fighting each other and then let some four year old named Josh win. there's so much hope for our society.

i hate when people ask me what sign i am like bitch i’m a sign from god. start running.

we’re both construction workers trying to level concrete but i keep drawing hearts in it with my finger while laying on my stomach and kicking my legs

if you arent someone the church wanted dead 300 years ago are you really living

anyways “break ups happen every day, you don’t have to lose it” and “she would’ve made such a lovely bride, what a shame she’s fucked in the head” have the EXACT SAME ENERGY