gaymie

Not only did mama raise a quitter, but she also raised a procrastinator, people-pleaser, doormat, coward, and liar, and you can’t put a price on that

"Whimsy" is truly a wretched term. What maketh thee so carefree?

thy mother

Art thou for fucking real

I think people would be less suicidal if they were allowed to talk about being suicidal without risk of being sent to the Torture Dungeon

Hey kids, you need to start worrying a little less about getting “#mogged” and a little more about getting “#smogged”. This is an Air Quality Index public service announcement.

the meaning of life? is to make your bedroom as comfy as possible. that's it that's the purpose

the secondary purpose is to equip your kitchen and get really really really into international cuisine

"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s

The person who tweeted “y’all can’t even boycott Chick-fil-A” was right then and continues to be proven right now

"There's no platonic explanation for this" <-you need to be nicer to your friends. Right now