...maybe so

FEELS SO FILLING, TASTES SO NICE

VEG AND PROTEIN, RICE AND SAUCE

So currently I answer to my full first name (which I usually introduce myself with) as well as two nicknames/diminutives plus my last name when people mistake it for a first name. There are two or three other nicknames I've also gone by in the past. I'm perfectly fine with this, or neutral at minimum-- I have a common name and have had to be flexible with how I'm distinguished for my whole life. I also don't feel a deep and fundamental connection of my name with my identity, though I think going by another name entirely would confuse me.

A number of friends have been appalled at me being called names I don't say are my name. Which is really weird to me, although I'd go to battle for anyone else who was getting either deadnamed or called something they didn't want. But this perspective seems surprisingly common!

it makes sense that louis tries his hand at being an artist, and that attempt a symbol of profound hope! but he also happened to pick the artform most prohibitive to him as a vampire (photography requires light and patience, whereas he’s always outrunning the sun.) and he takes photos of humans that he cannot get emotionally close to (the photo he takes of armand is notably the only one an art dealer gets a lil frisson off of.) he completely stacks the deck against himself, putting himself in a position to reaffirm his prior belief that vampirism is a curse and a limitation.

when he realizes his art isn’t great he quits. but if he had waited for cameras to improve, or taken photos of fellow vampires, (and fwiw i think there was a post floating around about how if louis just ate more, things might be easier lolol) or just been content to suck at it for a while, there’s no reason why he couldn’t have continued (lord knows other vampires are out there being bad and weird at whatever they’re making, in part bc they’re v much out of step with the culture they’re attempting to contribute to. and louis actually seems a great deal more clued in to the zeitgeist based on what he says to claudia about the parisian modern art scene, and even up to 2022 where he knows what essencefest is like my girl still knows whats what more or less.)

i think louis stops not only bc its painful and frustrating to not be able to practice this artform the way he wants to, but bc he cannot deal with the idea that he isn’t Creating Value or contributing, he would just be enjoying himself.

The day you were born I was shakin’ like a leaf on an old oak tree Then you stayed like a thorn Red roses raining’ down til they flooded me

SHEILA ATIM as Akasha