Sleep deprivation is such a common abuse tactic (especially in intimate partner scenarios) that I feel like is discounted or not recognized as a sign of an abusive relationship. Your partner doing shit like provoking arguments in the evening and not letting you go to sleep until you ‘finish it’, playing video games on full brightness and at full volume in the bedroom while you’re trying to sleep, repeatedly waking you with loud noises and having absolutely no consideration for your sleep schedule is a major red flag. It’s so easy to brush off in the moment because accidentally waking someone is one of those hazards of cohabitation that can be brushed aside and easily excused and so many abuse victims only begin to realize it was a calculated pattern of behavior after getting out and getting to sleep. Sleep deprivation is a torture method and a very effective method of abuse and control, lack of sleep puts you on edge and makes it harder for you to think. Abusers will often do this the night before a major event in their victim’s life like a job interview or important social gathering so the victim is not as prepared and/or cannot enjoy the event and it can have serious consequences on your academic, professional and social life.
Like I said, your partner occasionally waking you up is not necessarily a red flag on it’s own but if they’re doing it repeatedly, they refuse to attempt to adjust their behavior and/or they belittle you for being asleep at a reasonable hour, that is deliberate cruelty and blatant disregard for your health and wellbeing. If this is something occurring in your relationship and they are unwilling to listen or be more mindful, it’s time to reevaluate your relationship because you are incompatible at the very least. It’s one of those very small things that can and will indicate where the relationship is headed.
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