(closing the menu and handing it back to the waiter) whatever's most sumptuous

they are poisoning us today with a thursday poison little do they know we’ve been through a few thursday poisonings so it won’t kill us just yet

but actually genuinely why is the ant sad and leaving with a bindle

not allowed to smoke with people anymore because every time i exhale its deathblight

coworker who has shot me with a water pistol twice today asked me “did you ever watch k-pop demon hunters,” i said “no,” he said, “do you watch Anything,” i looked up towards the ceiling briefly before looking back at him & saying, “no,” he said, “all i can picture, is you, in a corner of a room, staring at a wall,” i said, “yeah”