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@burnslayer

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"One of the coolest examples of creative living that Iāve seen in recent years, for instance, came from my friend Susan, who took up figure skating when she was forty years old. To be more precise, she actually already knew how to skate. She had competed in figure skating as a child and had always loved it, but sheād quit the sport during adolescence when it became clear she didnāt have quite enough talent to be a champion. (Ah, lovely adolescenceāwhen the ātalentedā are officially shunted off from the herd, thus putting the total burden of societyās creative dreams on the thin shoulders of a few select souls, while condemning everyone else to live a more commonplace, inspiration-free existence! What a system . . . )
For the next quarter of a century, my friend Susan did not skate. Why bother, if you canāt be the best? Then she turned forty. She was listless. She was restless. She felt drab and heavy. She did a little soul-searching, the way one does on the big birthdays. She asked herself when was the last time sheād felt truly light, joyous, andāyesācreative in her own skin. To her shock, she realized that it had been decades since sheād felt that way. In fact, the last time sheād experienced such feelings had been as a teenager, back when she was still figure skating. She was appalled to discover that she had denied herself this life-affirming pursuit for so long, and she was curious to see if she still loved it.
So she followed her curiosity. She bought a pair of skates, found a rink, hired a coach. She ignored the voice within her that told her she was being self-indulgent and preposterous to do this crazy thing. She tamped down her feelings of extreme self-consciousness at being the only middle-aged woman on the ice, with all those tiny, feathery nine-year-old girls.
She just did it.
Three mornings a week, Susan awoke before dawn and, in that groggy hour before her demanding day job began, she skated. And she skated and skated and skated. And yes, she loved it, as much as ever. She loved it even more than ever, perhaps, because now, as an adult, she finally had the perspective to appreciate the value of her own joy. Skating made her feel alive and ageless. She stopped feeling like she was nothing more than a consumer, nothing more than the sum of her daily obligations and duties. She was making something of herself, making something with herself.
It was a revolution. A literal revolution, as she spun to life again on the iceārevolution upon revolution upon revolution . . .
Please note that my friend did not quit her job, did not sell her home, did not sever all her relationships and move to Toronto to study seventy hours a week with an exacting Olympic-level skating coach. And no, this story does not end with her winning any championship medals. It doesnāt have to. In fact, this story does not end at all, because Susan is still figure skating several mornings a weekāsimply because skating is still the best way for her to unfold a certain beauty and transcendence within her life that she cannot seem to access in any other manner. And she would like to spend as much time as possible in such a state of transcendence while she is still here on earth."
From : BIG MAGIC - creative living beyond fear. By Elizabeth Gilbert.
So, Ben is going through some things these days.
Itās crazy and fucked up that being yourself is actually the solution.
Itās like. When I was told to ājust be yourselfā as a kid I thought it was a passive thing. Like oh easy I just have to sit here and be myself. but the reason so many people think that ābeing yourselfā is bullshit advice is because you actually have to make active choices to do this and it WILL make your life way more fun. You have to wear t-shirts of bands that were popular ten years ago because you like them. You have to do your hair in a way that you find cute or comfortable even if itās āso ninetiesā. If your friend says a food you enjoy is gross to them, you canāt be afraid to admit you casually disagree. You have to do hobbies that youāre interested in even if youāre bad at them and you cant feel like you have to get good at something before you tell people itās an activity you do. You have to read manga and comic books in public and get piercings your relatives think are unattractive. You donāt have to tell people you dislike that you dislike them, but you donāt have to give them your time and attention either. You have to rewatch that kids show youāre nostalgic for even if youāre in your 30s. You have to change your name if you hate it, even if only a few close friends can know. You have to get fun girly drinks at the bar. You have to order hot chocolate when you donāt like coffee and black coffee when you donāt like sweet things. I am still bad at practicing this but it is the only way to make it all tolerable.
First you have to realize that "yourself" is a construct built by the decisions you make. Then it becomes clear that being yourself is a deliberate and intentional practice, not a passive state of existence.

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Riding the subway is a lot like being in the airport, which is to say pleasantly powerless. You could try to get work done but it's not actually plausible. Read a book! People-watch! Sit placidly while listening to music! It is not exactly heavenly but it is the only way heaven could actually be, the only eternal pleasure, without drama, without conflict, without disappointment, that the human mind is capable of, in my humble opinion. Heaven is an uncrowded train car, peopled with amnesiacs, who all think they've got about 10 stops left til they get home, which is just enough time to get a couple of pages in on a book.
the legally blonde mentality isnt just for law students. u can bring that attitude with you into every field of work. be the whimsical force of positive change. wear that neon outfit. snaps for us all.
this post was inspired by my boss telling me she couldnt "take me seriously" in a pair of dinosaur print overalls. sorry i have two degrees and a dope wardrobe. you dont need to take me seriously but You Will Take Me.
when someone self diagnoses there's the possibility that they're wrong, unlike formal diagnosis which is infallible and never ever weaponised against anyone ever :)
āThis is my favorite axe. Iāve been using it for forty years. Had to replace the handle ten times and the blade thrice.ā

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I think you guys tend to think of lesbians in such a nasty, aggressive way, especially when it comes to men, and 9/10 you haven't even begun to unpack it. No critique we have of the patriarchy, of society, of men is taken as a legitimate grievance, everything is, "oh my god, you just hate boys. You just want to take our boyfriends away, hey what about the NICE boys" and it's so, so extremely isolating.
The spirit of Diogenes is alive and well
This is funny, obviously, but even if you don't go to the extreme of the example above, this is a separate seat for one person, with a back and 4 legs:
But it's not a chair. It's a bar stool.
This, however, are all chairs:
Each one is missing at least one component of the chair definition above.
So like... it's almost like strict definitions are exclusionary.
Reblog to hit a transphobe with a separate seat for one person
Reblog to hit a
transphobe with a separate
seat for one person
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
All words are made up! Real life is an incomprehensibly messy spectrum that we try to draw boxes around, but if you look too closely at any of those boxes you will be forced to confront the fact that they are completely arbitrary and make no sense.
There is no definition of "fish" that includes everything you think of as "a fish" and excludes everything that you think of as "not a fish", except for the definition "things that you personally think are fish". Same for chairs. Is a "beanbag chair" a "chair"? Are spiders "bugs"? Are shrimp "bugs" (or "fish")?
What is a "woman"? Someone who has two X chromosomes? (What about people with XXY chromosomes [Klinefelter syndrome]?) Someone without a Y chromosome? (What about XX males [de la Chapelle syndrome]?) Someone who can get pregnant? (What about people who've had hysterectomies or tubal ligation, or are in menopause, or are on birth control, or, or, or...)
Any box you try to draw around the word "woman" will necessarily include people you don't think of as "women" and exclude people you do think of as "women", whether you ignore trans/intersex people or not.
I want you all to imagine with me, if you will, what I witnessed today.
McDonalds parking lot. teenage boy. giant polished white ford Tundra. windows down. blasting. I mean BLASTING. Beethoven's moonlight sonata. boy demolishing burger.
White Boy Summer

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When I was a kid watching tv was idiot coded and nerds read books, but now scrolling shortform videos is considered braindead behavior and watching tv means you're some kinda intellectual. You might think this shifting assessment of media's consumers might make readers into absolute super geniuses, but no. Only perverts read now.
At Target this lady told her son he couldnāt have a Wonder Woman doll because āthatās for girlsā and then bought her daughter the same one. It got me thinking about how often I see people bar young boys from appreciating girls/women as protagonists and heroes, and my own experience with it as a kid.