i'm not a leader.

i know i haven’t been around much i just work 40+ hrs a week ( and this week and next it’ll be almost 50..... lmao ) and by the time i get home even if i have muse i am so sleepy or too lazy to write bc i just wanna sit & do nothin’ lmaooo. but i am thinking about putting this blog in a hiatus and moving liz & greg to their own blogs ( i seem to have better luck with single blogs even though i disappear from those too lmaoo. ) and i kinda only seem to have a muse for them anyway. roswell is my life, dawg.

      “I kinda figured. That’s why you get first dibs at yelling at Max once we figure out how to save his dumb ass,” Michael replied, sparing a glance at the pod as he spoke. Truthfully, he liked working with Liz— far more than he thought he would, anyway. Too bad it was always the result of something shitty happening first. If Max was gone, for real…no, he didn’t want to think about that right now. There was no way he was letting Max Evans die before they could all take turns telling him what an idiot he was. “Probably still at Deluca’s. You can check my truck, though.” He shrugged. “Guess hospital policy has a strict ‘no stealing for alien science experiments’ policy. Can you see if I still have that car battery around here somewhere?”

EYEBROWS ROSE AS MICHAEL stated that he would let her yell at max once they finally SAVE his ass. she nodded once in approval, with hands on her hips as michael continued to talk. she would never tire of working with another like-minded brain ( even IF said brain got on her nerves sometimes ). she couldn’t think about the negative side to this either. losing max once was painful enough, and now that there was even a sliver of possibility of him coming back she’d never recover if they couldn’t bring him back. it would be losing him ALL over again and that wasn’t going to happen. she wouldn’t let it. she COULDN’T. nodding again, she turned to hunt for the battery he mentioned, ❝ yeah, i can do that. ❞ she said, while starting to look around, ❝ ah, here it is. this one, right ? ❞ she grunted, lifting up the battery to hold it in his sights. ❝ i’ll go grab that stuff, and come back. and uh, michael ?.. ❞ she brought the battery to him and then turned back around but turned her head towards michael before she walked away with her hair cascading over her shoulder.

Alex laid in bed for a while after he woke up. He’d barely slept at all, ever since CrashCon, he found it difficult to lower his guard enough to drift off. Alex found it odd, his father was gone now. Shouldn’t it be easier to relax knowing that? His brother was here in his house with him, watching his back. It should be comforting. It wasn’t. If he couldn’t sleep even after his father was out of the picture, what did that say about Alex? Was he beyond hope? Would he just never get over the ways Jesse Manes had screwed with his head? That wasn’t a comforting thought. 

He listened to the sounds of Gregory creeping around the kitchen, appreciating his brother’s attempt to be quiet even though Alex knew it was pointless. He was awake. He was always awake. Alex heard Greg pour a cup of coffee, picturing the ease with which his brother moved around Alex’s home behind his closed eyelids. When the door opened and closed, he sighed and pushed himself up. Greg taking his morning coffee outside was definitely a sign his brother was brooding, he’d better go and interrupt him. 

Alex moved through his morning routine dispassionately, making his way to the kitchen to make his own cup of coffee, before joining Gregory in his backyard. “Good morning.” He sighed, leaning up against the fence beside his brother. “How’d you sleep?” Alex knew better than to dive straight into the heavy stuff. Better to make small talk and let Greg open up when he was ready. He just hoped his brother didn’t turn the question back on him, knowing there was no point in lying but not wanting to worry his brother with how little he’d been sleeping. He was grateful to Gregory for what he’d done to protect Alex and to protect Michael. His brother had to know that. Alex not being able to sleep was just his own shit getting in the way once again.

HE HAD TRIED TO BE QUIET, clearly not used to having to do that as he lived alone up at the res. hearing the door open he jumped some, closing his eyes for a second. he wasn’t sure why he was so jumpy, it didn’t make much sense honestly. he knew alex was there and he knew he was AT alex’s house but he was just jumpy, so he shrugged it off. he looked into his mug, which he hadn’t touched much of yet. he sipped slowly as alex spoke and looked over at him with a deep breath. the bags under his eyes should be an indication of what his answer to his question would be but he was just trying to be a good brother, so he nods once, eyes still on his coffee. ❝ hey, alex. i.. didn’t. ❞ he said quietly. licking his bottom lip. ❝ not well, anyway. i probably tossed and turned more than anything. ❞ he sighed, ❝ what about you ? ❞

he knew alex wanted to say some other things. that he wanted to bring their dad up.. and he’d answer them, whatever questions he might have but he was grateful that alex had taken a SOFTER, more friendly approach to it. lifting his cup, he was shaking some, but not too much, or very noticeably. he sniffled some. when he did fall asleep, though, he would occasionally see jesse pointing a gun at him ( intended for michael, but regardless ). though these dreams stressed him out, made him sick to his stomach and upset him .. it had to happen for more reasons than protecting michael. sure, part of him regretted what he’d done... he was his father, after all, but that wasn’t going to change either way. 

ONE WEEK. IT’S BEEN ONE WEEK since crashcon, and gregory had filed for temporary leave at work due to a death in the family, among other things. he had a month. a month to get his shit together and make sure everything was in order before going back to the reservation and back to teaching. he went outside to drink his cup of coffee bright and early in the morning hoping he hadn’t woken alex up. he was lost, right now. lost, confused.. sad. ANGRY. lonely.. greg wasn’t sure WHAT he was or if he was one more than the other. 

he felt GUILTY, though.

he felt guilty about what he’d done. was that normal ? he didn’t know. he’d literally SHOT their father. but he HAD to. he was about to kill michael guerin. the only person he knows his brother to have ever loved more than anybody else in the world. he knew how much michael had meant to alex, therefore, he had to do it. he had to shoot jesse to save michael’s life. to set his brother free. he pulled his sweater around him tight, supping his coffee and sniffling as he leaned against the half-fence outside alex’s house in the backyard, watching the sun rise.

Despite his brother’s gentle touch, Alex still flinched at the contact with the cut on his shoulder. He sighed in relief when Gregory decided it wouldn’t need stitches. He hadn’t been looking forward to either having to stitch himself up at a painful twister angle or asking his brother to do it for him. Alex winced when Greg noticed all the blood left in his hair. He tried to give his brother a smile. “Kind of? It was hard to really scrub at my head with the cut on my shoulder and I didn’t want to get shampoo in the one on my head either.” He admitted. 

Alex barely kept from startling when his brother brushed his hair back from his face. But once Gregory’s hand was on his forehead, he found himself actually leaning into the contact. Alex blew out a breath at his brother’s assessment. He’d expected as much, but there was a part of him that had still held out hope that the abundance of blood didn’t signify a deep would but the typical over-bleeding of a head wound. “I do have common sense, you know.” Alex teased his brother, as he carefully made his way back to sit on the toilet seat. “Thank you again,” he sighed, “for taking me in. I really am sorry about this, no matter how much you say you don’t mind.”

At his brother’s questions about what had happened, Alex closed his eyes in shame. He’d known this question was coming but he’d been dreading it. Dreading having to admit he was wrong. He drew up his shoulders like a shield around his neck, took as deep a breath as he could manage, and then: “Uh, Dad kidnapped me.” He chewed his lip for a second. “I got away,” Alex shrugged, “but uh- you were right. Everyone was right. I was naive to think he could change.” He moved along with Greg’s instructions, holding his hair back as his brother stitched the cut. “No matter what I do, he’s always going to have a hold of me. I’ll never be free.” He looked at his brother. “Which means you’ll never be free either. He’ll keep hurting people I love.”

❝ WELL YOU NEED TO WASH IT AGAIN when we’re done so it doesn’t get infected from all the dirt and grime in it. ❞ he sighed heavily as he felt alex begin to tense and then fall into a more relaxed state and lean into his hand when he pushed back his hair. he could tell alex wasn’t used to affection, especially from family. he KNEW he didn’t get any tenderness from a manes after their mother left. it wasn’t difficult to resonate with that feeling. he was only a year older than alex, so their differences weren’t too great. however, he didn’t get the ABUSE that alex got from their father, so he couldn’t completely relate to that. he got some of the verbal, sure, but nothing like alex. he would never forgive himself for not helping alex more. part of him was afraid to help him, but he should’ve got over that.

when alex muttered about having common sense, he rolled his eyes. ❝ i know you do. i’m just stupid sometimes and say what i’m thinking out loud. humor me. ❞ he flicked his arm, ❝ now for real, sit still, alex. at-home stitch jobs aren’t the best or most comfortable. ❞ he stated obviously, but as a reminder. ❝ and i’m shaky, ‘cus i’m just worried about you so i really need you to stay still so i don’t hurt you. ❞ he cleared his throat. ❝ please. ❞ he said quickly. he took a deep breath, lighting the end of the needle to sterilize it after tying the thread up. ❝ we’ll need to get you to a doctor to get these stitches out properly, but for now, this will do, until we can get you somewhere. okay ? ready ? ❞ he asked. 

he ignored his second ( or third, or fourth, he’d lost count ) attempt at thanking him again, but before he started to stitch, alex mentioned JESSE and what he’d done. his eyes widened with intensity, ❝ i’m sorry, di-..did i just hear you correctly ? did you just say dad KIDNAPPED you ? ❞ he asked, tilting his head and raising a brow some, his hands dropping with the needle and thread into his lap while he processed the information. greg shook his head, ❝ stop, alex. that’s who you are. who WE are. i thought for a moment he could change too, but here we are. we try to see the good in people who shouldn’t be given the benefit of the doubt. it’s normal. ❞ he sighed, closing his eyes for a second before letting out another frustrated sigh. ❝ i’m so sorry alex. ❞ he said again, quieter this time.

Alex smiled at his friend. “I’m just glad I didn’t have to drag you out of your lab to get you to come along.” He teased. Liz had been doing better about spending time with her friends since he’d called her out on being closed-off last year. It was nice to spend some time with her. “I missed you too, Liz. We have so much to catch up on.” Like the fact that they were both in love with aliens, and Kyle Valenti was back in their lives. Not to mention Rosa’s return to the world of the living. He shook his head at her question. “I hadn’t, Greg suggested it when I told him we were going on a trip. He swears by their coffee and their customer service.”

SHE LAUGHED AT HIS COMMENT about her finally deciding to get out of her dark, damp lab and join him. he was right. she had closed herself off and knew it was a bad idea to do so. she needed friends in her corner, especially right now. friends were EXACTLY what this doctor needed. ❝ we DO have so much to catch up on ! i feel like even when we HAVE seen each other, there was never any time to do anything or talk to each other about the IMPORTANT things going on in our lives. ❞ the fact that they were BOTH madly in love with idiot aliens was ABSOLUTELY a subject they needed to talk about. who better ? they each knew the other party and they were both LITERALLY in the same damn situation. why WOULDN’T they talk about it ? also kyle. 

that damn kyle valenti.

Alex shook his head, “I think our family is the last one that needs more drama.” He shot back, with a smirk. “What can I say,” Alex shrugged, “Dad was a dramatic son of a bitch. Very paranoid, and he thought he was smarter than everyone else. If he hid something here, I want to know what it was.”

He let out a laugh as he led the way into the house. “Right, you’re going to protect me from the scary ghosts, right?”

HE SNORTED SOFTLY AT ALEX’S comment about their father being a dramatic son of a bitch. he wasn’t wrong by any means. ❝ i guess you’re right. ❞ he sighed even MORE dramatically, making it noisy and grumbly sounding. ❝ i guess i wanna know too. ❞ he threw his hands up in defeat. then he gasped at alex’s laugh and comment after, ❝ why wouldn’t i ?! i am perfectly capable of protecting you from a coupla ghosts, alex. ❞ he glared playfully at him. 

Alex rolled his eyes at his brother. “Stop being so dramatic, Greg.” He sighed. As much as his brother went on about not wanting to go into the building, Alex knew he’d follow him if Alex led the way, he wasn’t going to let his brother wander off into a potentially dangerous situation alone. “We’re going in there because I think dad hide some important stuff about our family in here, and I want to know what it is.” He looked over his shoulder at his brother as he made his way toward the front door. “So are you coming or what?”

@mxltis​​ || cont.

“Hey!” Alex complained, trying and failing to rescue his coffee. “What the hell, Greg? I was drinking that!” He grumbled. “You know, house gets usually have a little more courtesy for their hosts.” Alex crossed his arms. As grumpy as he was without his coffee, his brother probably had a point. He grudgingly took the bottle of water and cracked it open, taking a long drink to please Gregory. “There, that better?”