I just drank 31 thousand beers

My name is john beer

Your middle name?

Love

Underutilized aesthetic: when you try to do something a little too specific with your modern OS and it pops up a window with a completely different UI style than the rest of your computer software to do it, usually from an older version of the OS

#computer i need you to print something can you age regress for me

you just doordashed yourself a knuckle sandwich pal

your post made me laugh bro. and yet, i am troubled

@bovineblogger

Woah mama I'm a shrimp

I truly believe we don't have much time left

baby girl I don't know what that acronym means. it would be so sexy of you to write out that piece of media's name in its entirety. Just the one time for momma please.

you’re in her dms I’m at the lowest point of my life

The lowest point of my life was when I was awarded a free NFT for being a "top redditor"

holy fucking shit

a sense of calm pervades the shelf stable aisles of the supermarket, quite different to the desperate urgency of perishables

Youve been working so hard recently man You deserve a break Come to my place tonight man We're gonna wrap you in sheets and tie a thirty six pound cannonball to your feet and head and throw you into the ocean