Nacho and Goat head to the forest only to become bitter rivals over a leaf. 

open field: ‘suzie, do you copy?’ repeated consistently while cloud gazing with the wind sweetly swaying the grass in soft directions. friendship and side glances of amusement and laughter. slight electrical noises coming from dustin’s frustrations and genius at work. awareness of the here and now; it’s the summer of 85 and you’re relaxing with the best people in the world   

starcourt mall: an abundance of noise and bright colours. screams of excitement met with children running. trying on new looks and personalities. pay-checks and allowances being spent. happily exhausted emotions. perhaps it’s time to get some ice-cream and say hi to the idiot with the hair at scoops ahoy 

hawkins community pool: splashes and hot weather filled with bright bathing suits. the smell of sunscreen and chlorine can be overwhelming but it’s okay because it’s associated with the company of your friends and feeling alive

the byers house: seemingly empty rooms yet filled with grief that hasn’t quite finished permeating the halls. deep browns and family dinners with good music and the familial knowledge that you’re loved

hopper and el’s cabin: quiet nights filtered out with boardgames and the kettle boiling. the sound of the forest enveloping you; tree branches grasping the thin cabin walls and the wind rattles the outside of the small and comfortable rooms filled with acceptance and good company

Finn: Gryffindor. Would rather put himself in danger than others. Works past fear to go all clear. Chivalrous to the point of detriment. A lil reckless.

Willa: Ravenclaw. Watches the discovery channel, National Geographic, and such in her free time. Jack of all trades (archery, climbing, etc) but master of none. Curious about the world.

Philby: Slytherin. Learns everything about tech when Maybeck isn’t up to the task anymore. Constantly strives to improve, making himself irreplaceable and endlessly useful. Cautious problem-solver, fond of self preservation. Hates messing up more than anything.

Charlene: Hufflepuff. Often communicates her love of the group out loud and rallies for their teamwork. Literally a cheerleader for the Keepers. Stays with the same crush loyally for a long time, even when it seems like it won’t work out. Patient enough to wait for her time to shine.

Maybeck: Ravenclaw. Values creativity above all. Doesn’t like studying or learning what other people tell him to, but will spend hours learning about his passions and interests. Witty as hell.

Amanda: Gryffindor. Same as Finn in that she’d rather be the one under fire than other people. Fiercely protective of the innocent and underdogs (uses her powers in school to protect others). Also a lil reckless.

what gollum meant: ur ugly and stupid

what sam heard: you’re a hottie but you’re dumb as shit

sam:

the scarlet ibis

marigolds

the diamond necklace

the monkey’s paw

the open boat

the lady and the tiger

the minister’s black veil

an occurrence at owl creek bridge

a rose for emily

(I found that one by googling “short story corpse in the house,” first result)

the cask of amontillado

the yellow wallpaper

the most dangerous game

a good man is hard to find

some are well-known, some obscure, some I enjoy as an adult, all made me uncomfortable between the ages of 11-15

So, sometime last year (?) science invented Vantablack, which is the darkest possible shade of black. Art world got incredibly excited. But as it needs to be very carefully made in a lab, it’s hard to get a hold of, and is extremely expensive. Enter Anish Kapoor, aka FuckFace McGee. Anish Kapoor buys the rights to Vantablack. He is the only human being on the planet that can legally use it, and he’s kind of a prick about it.

Art world is not thrilled with that.

Enter Stuart Semple.

Stuart Semple is an artist, and also makes pigments to sell in his free time. Stuart Semple is astoundingly pissed about this Vantablack nonsense, and Anish Kapoor’s dickery. Stuart Semple makes a new pigment, the brightest shade of pink ever, called Pinkest Pink, and puts it for sale on the internet. To be bought by everybody except Anish Kapoor. Literally, to purchase, you need to confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, do not associate with him, and will not sell or give the pigment to Anish Kapoor or his associates. Art world has a good laugh, everyone buys Pinkest Pink because it’s awesome, and damn it we deserve something.

Anish Kapoor however is a penis, and will not take this lying down, because HOW DARE he not have literally everything.

Anish Kapoor gets his London associates to buy him a thing of Pinkest Pink, and being such a classy human being, posts a picture to instagram of him with his middle finger covered in Pinkest Pink, captioned with “Up yours. #pink”

Everyone flips shit, because. Y’know. Fuck that guy. Especially Stuart Semple. For context here, Anish Kapoor is one of the richest artists on the planet, and has repeatedly been referred to as everything wrong with the art world, and the epitome of the art worlds elitism problem. He’s a giant douchebag. Meanwhile Stuart Semple makes pigments just to get them out there. He turns 0 profit from his now enourmously popular pigments.

Stuart Semple launches an investigation as to who the fuck leaked Pinkest Pink, and plans to strike back. He does so by releasing two new products. First is Diamond Dust, which is a glitter made from glass, so that a painting is still visible after it’s applied, but glitters like a mofo. It’s the most reflective glitter out there, and is available to everyone who isn’t Anish Kapoor. And it being made of glass, if you stick your finger in there, it’s going to hurt quite a bit, so that was Stuart Semple’s way of saying “shove your middle finger in this, asshole, see what happens”. Except without saying that, because he can get an insult across while still being fucking classy.

He also releases Black 2.0, created with the help of over a thousand artists worldwide.

Black 2.0 is the answer to Vantablack. Black 2.0 is a slightly less black black, but looks functionally the same to the human eye. It’s completely safe, smells like cherries, and costs four pounds. Vantablack is highly toxic, potentially explosive, needs to be applied in a special laboratory and sealed properly, can’t be moved across borders, can reach 300 degrees celsius if you’re not extremely careful, and costs thousands of dollars. Anish Kapoor is the only human being who can use Vantablack. He is the only human being who cannot use Black 2.0.

So I think we can guess who got the better deal.

And thus the feud ends, Kapoor defeated.

…But not quite.

Kapoor, in this entire afair, has made exactly two comments to the public. The first being his charming message about aquiring Pinkest Pink, the second being claiming to Buzzfeed that he and his small army of lawyers will be suing Semple, an extremely poor artist who cannot afford a lawyer.

No lawsuit has been made yet, fyi.

The point is, Kapoor is a prick, and doesn’t like talking to the lower classes. So one day in July 2017, he decides he needs another floor on his London studio apartment, and starts making arrangements to have it built. His neighbors are fucking pissed, because this will ruin the light of their apartments. They call to Semple to save them, or at the very least piss Kapoor off some more.

Semple answers to the call, and releases two new paints, Phaze and Shift, as always, banned to Kapoor. They change colours, Phaze with temperature, and Shift is just iridescent. Shift needs to be painted over Black 2.0 to work, and Phaze just works on its own.

So that’s been the art world for the last two years.

1. “Anish Kapoor is however a penis” is the best line in this post.