This Blog

Babe, are you okay? You reblogged Nick Barlow’s Clusterfuck/Keep It Together again

basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*

*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god

*thunderous slam dunk noise*

Dahling you simply must read this book! It’s all about this devious little caterpillar who simply gorges himself on all manner of divine things

and i find it kinda yummy. i find it kinda snacks

"this reminds me of a sexual puzzle" - Sexual Professor Layton

Hello, welcome to 2050, our gallery - oh, no, that art is not done with AI, the industry collapsed decades ago, but human artists have rediscovered the aesthetic and are using it ironically. Yeah they call it Neo-Modern AI Chic, they've been trying to recover surviving slop and put it in the archives. Oh, we're very into 2020s aesthetics now. You remember, Hyperlink Unburbia? Rustic Pseudo-Cryptid? Self-Care Shadowscape? You don't...know any of those? That's weird. They really define your time, is all, uh, and we're into it

She took my fucking mind palace, I'm thinking out of my mind car now.

I hate fucking wandering swordswomen. We retire to my room, I'm dressed in only the sheerest clothes as I lounge on the bed, and she has to silently disrobe, hold her cock in her hand, and then recite something like Secret Technique: Imperceptible Flash of Peerless Victory. And then she gets dressed and leaves without even touching me, and I find out a few months later *that* somehow got me pregnant.

i think its vv frustrating when ppl r like 'but I find brienne beautiful 'bc its like. so blatantly not the point. like the text isnt asking u if u think a butch w broad shoulders thin hair and freckles is the most attractive woman to u in the whole wide world its asking u even if brienne was the ugliest woman u ever seen in ur life would u still respect her. would u still call her a good person for her good deeds despite how she looked. would u value her appearance over her character. like ur not engaging w the text atp

trust me you do not want to be a maid here the princess likes to gather all of us up every month and sets us loose in the royal forest to hunt us. shes not even on horseback or anything she just lets us get exhausted first and then runs after us. Yeah girl where do you think i got all these bruises and bite marks from she beats the shit out of us shes crazy. Ok well i dont appreciate you getting a boner this is really a traumatic thing for me