You never know what color pallette someone's Tumblr is till ppl are screenshotting posts and tags

Oh wow.

Some people on tumblr are reading ancient scrolls and you'd never know

last christmas man me a sand but the very next day man car door hook hand

eddie diaz is my favourite guy in the whole wide world. single dad. army medic. divorced. rizzless. chronic fumbler. hopeless romantic. ass to waist ratio of 3:1. colossal failure of a man. most competent guy in the room. makes terrible impulse financial decisions. coolest chillest guy youll ever meet. anxious neurotic cringefail loser. eats pussy like a champ. has dated a grand total of three and a half women in the 30-something years hes been alive. hasnt had sex in over a year now despite the fact that not fucking leaves him too pent up to function. doesnt believe in ghosts in a world where ghosts are canonically real. catholic who doesnt believe in god. undeniably cursed but doesnt believe in curses. everyone in the whole wide world thinks hes gay but he is oblivious to this. joined an underground fight club. worked as an uber driver. hates his therapist. was a teenage ballroom dance champion who couldve gone pro. undiagnosed for every mood disorder. has beef with his gay ex-coworker. used to drive a gmc sierra denali but now he drives a prius. technophobe. petty bitch. widower. doesnt even know hes in love with his best friend. i cannot stress enough how absurd the ass to waist ratio is.

sister AND ex-boyfriend both believing you're in love with your best friend is crazy work. implying the only thing holding you back is his sexuality is even crazier work

“i’m a boy”, “i’m a girl”, okay?? i’m just u.n.c.o.u.p.l.e.d.? i can’t seem to stop c.r.y.i.n.g.??