damn those firefighters are gay

@eddiediaznetwork - eddie diaz week

so! things go on as they go!

how do we think buck feels when theo's old enough to start asking questions about how buck knew his parents, and it occurs to buck, now a queer man, as he did not understand himself to be when he and connor slept together OR when connor and kameron asked for his sperm, that he slept with his son's father. how weird is that!!!!! he was a sperm donor and wasn't involved with his son's life at all for the first few years, even though they asked him to be, but also they didn't....treat him like a sperm donor. kameron stayed at his apartment when she and connor had a fight. they sent him the ultrasound photos. buck was there when theo was born and his dad wasn't. buck was sort of his dad's ex-boyfriend, oh my god, but even worse than that, buck was sort of his dad's ex-fuck buddy, jesus christ, who does that. in retrospect, what had connor and kameron wanted from him? if he'd stayed in theo's life, what would that have looked like? did buck accidentally reject connor twice without meaning to? what did kameron want? man, it feels awful that buck is just never going to know. but no, he's getting distracted. the important thing is that now that he's thought about it, he's hiding a devastating and obscene secret from his SON who he promised never to lie to, which is that he SLEPT with his son's FATHER.

anyway picture buck giving something like that rant to eddie or maddie or hen or the whole firehouse, full on paranoid spiraling, before someone carefully points out that having slept with your child's other parent is in fact not obscene, or even risque. it is in fact maybe the most normal thing in the world.

chris & buck | season nine | character study | 10k | t

Summary: Sometimes you have to break things to fix them. Chris would break his relationship with Buck, but Buck's already done that. 

Chris can finish the job, though.

—

“Buck doesn't love me,” Chris says. He's had almost two years to internalize that. 

His dad absorbs it like a bullet.

“Buck doesn't love me.” It sounds worse when Chris says it aloud, so he repeats himself to feel the bone crush again. It hurts like it's new. 

“What makes you say that?” Dad asks, too tentative, like Chris is a situation he needs to handle with care. Like he has to tiptoe around his feelings. But Chris is fine with this. He's okay. Dad doesn't need to worry about him. He doesn't need Buck to love him back. He just needs him to stay.

Chris shrugs. “It's true.”

If Dad can't see it, that's his own problem. 

new quickfic :)

Tagged by @dungeonsex2026 🥰🥰

I so desperately want to share a snippet from the [redacted] AU but it’s pretty ambitious and I have no idea if I can pull it off so want to get further in before I share anything 🫣

In the absence of a snip from that here’s a lil bit of fembuddie pwp 😉

‘Buck,' Eddie says, the third time she wanders through the kitchen with no clear purpose, 'are you okay?'

'Yeah,' Buck shrugs, 'just feeling restless.'

Eddie sets her ipad aside, watching. Buck is still in her pajamas, which is not so unusual on a day off, her hair in an absentminded topknot, strands escaping at the nape of her neck and around her face.

'Did you take your meds today?'

Buck sighs, 'yes.'

'Do you want to go for a run?'

She shrugs, 'I don’t know.'

'Watch something?'

'I don’t know!'

Eddie knows Buck won't be able to deal with this aimless feeling for much longer before she starts to get annoyed at herself, snappish because she can't settle, an itchiness under skin, as she describes it, that nothing can ease. Well, nothing except—.

'Buck,' says Eddie more firmly, 'do you want something?'

Buck startles, closing the cupboard she'd randomly opened.

'Oh—I—. Yes, please, Eddie.'

Eddie stands and comes over to her, kissing her shoulder, a hand at her waist, one single reassuring squeeze.

'Go to the bedroom and get undressed. Wait on the bed for me.'

2096 words | Rated g

so, anyways. buckley-diaz family vacation!! and, idk where they're going, but it definitely involves a minor road trip (something long enough to be a real Trip but short enough that a four year old wont go tooooo terribly stir crazy in the backseat), and they've definitely got to stay at a hotel at some point.

which brings me to my Main Thought here: at the hotel, they end up getting one of those conjoined double rooms with the door in between then. initially, the plan is eddie and chris in one room and buck and theo in the other. each parent with their respective child, y'know. but, the thing is — theo adores chris, thinks he's the coolest, practically worships him, so, naturally, theo finds out there's two beds in one room and goes i wanna stay with chris!! and at first buck is like oh, theo, you're gonna stay with me! but theo is like ☹️☹️ because he wants a sleepover with chris!! and buck is like 😬😬 because he has to figure out a way to explain to theo that its not fair to chris to have to share a room with a small, rambunctious toddler who is not his responsibility (y'know, without phrasing it like this of course lol), but chris, sweet beautiful amazing generous chris, just goes nah i don't mind, he can share the room with me. and buck is like chris, you dont have to do that. and chris just shrugs and goes seriously, its fine. we'll have fun, won't we theo? (to which theo jumps up and down and cheers) and besides, we're only a door away if he needs you or something. and well he makes a good point there! and buck is about to say so but then chris adds with a grin, unless you dont wanna share a room with dad. and that's when eddie pipes in with an eyeroll and a think you should be asking me about sharing a room with buck and buck like squawks out hey whats wrong with sharing a room with me? and eddie laughs, but he's totally grinning when he says nothing, nothing. we were probably going go hear your snores through the wall anyways, so what's one bed over instead? and buck huffs out a scofflaugh of his own and rolls his eyes now, waving a dismissive hand at eddie. but of course the whole argument is just for show for eddie because he actually finds the sound of buck's snoring very soothing — not that he'd ever admit that to him.

so, anyways. they decide to let theo bunk with chris, since chris is okay with it (he secretly loves the hero worship okay, and he kind of thinks theo can sometimes be pretty cool too, when he's not being a little bit annoying. or throwing a tantrum.)

and i had this Vision in my head, of chris letting theo climb into his bed later that evening while he puts on a movie for them to watch before bedtime. except theo totally ends up conking out like halfway through the movie — across chris' pillows, or maybe even on chris himself. and at some point, buck and eddie poke their heads in to check on them, and that's how they find them: theo asleep with his little head on chris' shoulder, and chris also conked out, with his head tipped back over to rest against theo's. and it is just the cutest thing buck n eddie have ever seen and they're all 🥺🥺 and they end up snapping a million and one photos of it because that's their babies!!!! and they're getting along so sweetly!!!! it's adorable, they're adorable!!!