do the clints have a one always tells the truth and one always lies dynamic going on

Ghosts aren't real, it was probably just the house settling that gave you that blowjob

getting kicked off love island for just swimming in the pool and not talking to anyone

Victor Frankenstein after achieving the impossible and building a fucking person from scraps of the dead: Oh god, ew, ew it's ugly! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew! Ew! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew!

if you think showing ur kids harry potter will radicalize them u are wrong and u should just instead watch a bug’s life and chicken run. there are gays in there, even. no not “canonically,” shut up, i’m old and in my day we simply UNDERSTOOD when a chicken was a lesbian or a stick bug was a gay man with the telepathic connection between our massive gay brains like the baby geniuses. i took a benadryl

stop reblogging this post OP has a foot fetish

[doesn't understand jacking off] and I'm supposed to... touch my penis? [shaking my head and smiling, murmuring to myself] touching my own penis... [chuckles] what will they come up with next

Wait! I can change! *grotesquely transforms into a snarling ghoul*

hikes are very good yes but a deluxe hike is when you are accompanied by a freak with niche nature knowledge. they’re like omg stop there’s a horned valerian varmint beetle here and then you both get to crouch down and look at a bug like :)

[girl in a low cut top voice] i just dont know what it is but everyone is being sooo nice to me today….[grows grave and guarded] they’re conspiring against my reign and they think me a fool