i'm great now

socially, i mostly relate to cats, in terms of “my behavior may sometimes come across as antisocial or possibly shy but the truth is sometimes i just have to Go Somewhere Else Immediately Right Now”

some people really do need to start reminding themselves that the answer to "why didn't the character just do [something entirely different]" is often simply "because then there wouldn't be a story"

Those sick fucks at Ocean Spray will mix anything with a cranberry

somatic symptoms of anxiety are so fucked. what do you mean I got so scared my body decided that it needed to add nausea and headache and dizzy to the situation. how is it helping

I plan on watching a movie at some point in the future

“but if i communicate it perfectly then they will understand me” WRONG 10,000 years of suffering

"become a fish" (gay)

men will jump through an entire circus' worth of hoops rather than admitting they're bi

The level of mental hoops that guy had to jump through to say to his wife, "No, honey! Of course I wouldn't be cheating on you! Sex during gaycations doesn't count!"

this is an insane story

Um…here’s the reddit link? I’m speechless.

Don't worry honey, all the other men on gaycation aren't real people and they stop existing after. Hey, where's all the homophoboa coming from suddenly?

That's the beauty of the gaycation!

Me thinking why a whale (big) would eat krill (small) and then I remembered rice (yum)

so few people appreciate the wisdom I have to offer.........