There have been moments in my life when people wanted to touch me. Without prompt, or expectation, and of their own volition, they felt the urge and the trust to touch me. Touching me was a reward to their mind, and so they reached out to gather the dopamine of feeling our bodies touch.
It is always been my favorite thing in life, when someone naturally comes up with their own motivation to want to touch me.
I thought these moments would last forever, that these people woykd stick around forever and always want to touch me, but they kept going away.
People came and went, but there was always someone who wanted to touch me.
Eventually, it became less and less frequent until it might have stopped. I can't be too sure when the frequency slows down so much that I dobt know if the last time, was the last time.
I put myself out there. Talk to new people, but there just isn't anyone who when I sit beside them, that you can feel their desire to be close. You actually feel so far apart.
It doesn't happen anymore, and I worry, it may never happen again. I try to look back at memories when people wanted to touch me, but I get gaps and blur for these moments where I was so relaxed, so safe and so ignorant to the future without touch.