zero trick pony

I keep picturing Jeff reading Shauna's journals and getting indignant on her behalf that she didn't get crowned cannibal queen.

living with a tall dude is ridiculous I just turned around and he was walking our cat around on the ceiling

you wouldn't get our bond

you can be peeling a boiled egg and think to yourself wow. that was so simple. and then you peel another one and it’s like being in the throes of war. shell everywhere. egg mangled. tears in your eyes. that’s how god keeps you humble

i wanna see a hannibal-level psychosexual obsession between two normal people. like some freak who works at a deli counter and the city bus driver who buys sandwiches with anchovies on purpose