teamwork makes the dream work. and dreamwork. makes shrek

just received the best text message I’ve ever had. from my mom

Need to develop a hunger for things that are actually good for me idk man

the rainbow is a well-known symbol of gay pride that originated in the late 1970s in san francisco, when the gay community promised to never again destroy the earth by flood

Give a man a leaf and he will eat it. Teach a man to leaf and he will go away

posts that could have also been in a newspaper in 1910 on a slow day

You walked up to that house in the rain on purpose

the fuck else would I be sloshing around in a wet ballgown for

friend is trying to sell her car bc shes moving to a state with vehicle inspections and her prius lives in defiance of god. anyway so shes cleaning it out at my apartment complex bc we have dumpsters and her roommate forgot to pay the trash bill. i will be liveblogging my experience watching her do this and you will understand why i refuse to help her

"oh no i disturbed the nursery section of The Colony!!! D: D: " awesomesauce. i hope an asteroid comes and kills us both

i must stress: before today she DID NOT KNOW about the ant colony in there . she thought ants just really liked to climb inside anytime the car was parked.

bringing this post back bc i found a video of her offering me the phantom cd set and i said no because the box was coated in a syrupy mat of human hair and she was confused because "we know whos hair it is" ???? as if the origin of the hair was the only fucking holdup

@entities-of-posts

The Corruption

Valuable supplemental research.

"boys have dirty rooms but clean cars, girls have clean rooms but dirty cars" is a statistical error. Most car owners keep it neat regardless of gender. Ants Georgette, who drives around in a Prius-shaped ant colony (their little ant feet do the Fred Flintstone thing), is an outlier adn should not have been counted.

When she needs to parallel park she just asks the ants to get out and shift it over

asked my students if they wanted to share stories about what they did over spring break and this kid goes "you know the field behind costco?" and we all nod and he says "I got lost in the field behind costco."

common advice for social anxiety is to tell yourself "people aren't going to think less of you just because you said something a bit daft" but the thing is. sometimes they will. and you just have to learn to be cool with that and to treat it as a dnd random encounter rather than letting it ruin your whole day

the problem is i really do love staying up until one billion o'clock. it just cant be helped

the menstrual cup and menstrual scepter

really love a corruption arc where the character is trying way too hard to make it work but they're in over their head and it's uncomfortable and embarrassing and they're swallowing their own puke every time they do something awful and damp with sweat and trembling but insistent that they can do this, they want it, they're not a child, but it's like they're playing dressup in clothes that are too big for them and trying to convince their own reflection in the mirror that they fit and it's just no fun to watch at all

+ then they find inside them a capacity for cruelty far more upsettingly vicious than anyone could have imagined and decide that because they enjoy how unafraid it makes them feel for the first time in as long as they can remember it must have been their true nature all along instead of something that had to be starved in the dark until it grew desperate enough to claw its way out 🙂‍↕️

the meaning of life? is to make your bedroom as comfy as possible. that's it that's the purpose

the secondary purpose is to equip your kitchen and get really really really into international cuisine