close your eyes and make a wish

there’s absolutely nothing better than reading a 100k word fanfic, that is until you remember you have a body that is starving, thirsty and incredibly sleep deprived and hasn’t used the bathroom since the sun set 8 hours ago

who’s gonna tell tumblr that executive dysfunction is more than Not Doing Things?

Girl, help. None of my executives are functioning

I love you tragedy I love you corruption arcs I love you doomed relationships I love you character succumbing to their fatal flaw I love you codependency I love you characters doomed to die from the start I love you road to hell paved with good intentions

forgive me father for i have sexualized an older man

dude in the other side of the confessional, smoothing back his more salt than pepper hair, tugging at his collar, breaking into a slight nervous sweat that highlights his crows feet and laugh lines: Is that so?

*sits down to write a smut fic* The plot of this smut fic is that Character A believes himself abandoned by God.

there are two competing sects on this website - one that uses the word "spicy" to mean "neurodivergent" and one that uses the word "spicy" to mean "sexual content." i do not like either of them

I use spicy to describe food

my food is mentally ill and I’m putting my dick in it

Twilight

I GOT A FUCKING RAISE THE POTATO WORKED WTF

This potato works. Every. Fucking. Time.

Reblogging because it’s a damn potato and I want to encourage people to assume potatoes are magical.

Potatoes are magical. Just look at all the different kinds of deliciousness that can be made from these unassuming lumps.

squeezing my pussy and concentrating all the microplastics in my body to print a perfect tiny figurine of a fruit bat