The First Hug

✿＼(｡-_-｡) “Kick his ass, baby.  I got yo flower.”

thanks for ruining my post jackass

(￣^￣ﾒ)＼✿ "Fine, I'ma keep ya damn flower.“  

*flies past*

such a funny phenomenon when the writers of a story set in ancient greece or rome don’t know that many greek/roman names so they just give characters the names of random famous historical figures

How does it feel to have conceptualized the perfect Spider-Man trailer op

man sometimes friendship really is just "I saw this and knew it would give you psychic damage. please respond with agony" and then they do. and it's great

if youre in the US (especially the northeast + michigan) i would avoid bagged salads/greens and generally wash your produce very thoroughly unless you want the diarrhea parasite

i can’t stop thinking about the time my roommate and i asked our insanely ripped neighbor brian who wore flip flops year round and sunglasses on the back of his head for help with carrying a solid wood dresser up to our apartment. he wanted to get his son who was home from college to come help too so he takes out his phone and goes, “siri, call christian christianson” and turns speaker phone on while we stand there sort of stunned by the name and after a few rings cc answers, “what the hell do you want” and brian just hangs up without responding and is all, “kids, am i right” then carries the dresser up four flights of stairs pretty much by himself. we offered him a six pack of rainier as thanks which he immediately opened in our kitchen and downed 2/6 beers in 10 mins while telling us about his 1989 dodge ram 1500 he was trying to get his son to restore with him to no avail. really nice guy. we never saw his son before he went back to school but any time i ask my roommate for help with lifting stuff or reaching something he says, “siri, call christian christianson” and we reminisce about brian and his truck.

They need to make a spray that keeps your nipples from getting hard. Pasties are too much work.

i usually go for a fabric with print if i’m trying to avoid a nipple-centric look. thicker or double-lined fabrics work well too.

“what is the target audience of this post” what?????? does your diary have a target audience

i’m literally emperor ai of han if instead of a peach it was the first blackberry of the season from the blackberry brambles by the road and he carried half of a blackberry cupped awkwardly in his hand for another like quarter mile to get home

the passion of the slightly squished blackberry

[Getting so angry it makes my brain disease worse] people sre supposed to be nice..

the least titillating thing about sex is the sex itself