yuk foo

Satan: hey I bought your soul last month and- Me: no returns. Satan: please it’s making me sad.

only sexy bitches sit on kitchen counters that’s the law

love being trusted with “you cant tell anyone this” conversations and nodding a lot and forgetting everything they told me like god intended and going down as a trustworthy individual while doing literally zero work of ill or good

i love this, video

*music intro plays, beat of silence* Audience Member: WHO IS IT??? *people laugh* Britney: It’s Britney bitch.

WHO IS IIIIIIT

Isn’t boomerang like.. free?

She can’t afford it

I can’t afford it

“bastard” is no contest the funniest curse word

It somehow implies that the most hienous thing you’ve done is exist

over two and a half millennia later and lesbians is the same

4800 players, Beethoven’s 9th Symphony Speedrun

its not even music anymore it’s just a shockwave that kills you instantly

Reblog if you want to be annihilated by the physics-defying supersonic Beethovenian explosion

Superman’s real superpower is finding white button up shirts opaque enough to hide a bright red, blue, & yellow Superman logo underneath without it showing through.

*applies chapstick for 15 minutes while staring at a wall absentmindedly*

Smooosh

spirits of hell and heaven judging your soul in afterlife