I Just Think Theyre Neat

wine drunkkk. lords and ladies I don’t think it counts against my vow of chastity if I fuck my squire like it’s not even a big deal

BOYS NIGHT, 15th March, Senate! bring your own booze! remember what happens in the senate stays in the senate ;). BOYS NIGHT BOYS NIGHT BOYS NIGHT

imagine if doorways grew back like scabbed over with fresh drywall and you had to keep carving them back out with a jabsaw to keep the doorway clear etc

Imagine if the membranes recoiled in pain every time you did this. Imagine if over time, some doorways became accustomed sensation. Imagine that very rarely, some even seemed to enjoy it.

*sleepover host voice* imagine if you two went to sleep

Oh for gods sake kids it’s like piercing an ear - that’s why you put a doorframe in - you don’t hang a door in drywall, you gremlins. You frame the door. It’s like those gauges that people put in their ears - the hole stays. It won’t scab over with a doorframe in it. You’ve lived around doors you whole life, you little clowns. Lights out

Oh my goodness what an honor to be Calvin’s dad

im only a level three imagination haver sorry i wouldnt get it

as a level five imagination haver i can only imagine how hard that is for you

rub it in why don't you

i must not get takeout. takeout is the wallet-killer. takeout is the little-death that brings total obliteration. i will face the kitchen, fridge, and pantry. i will make choices about what to cook and then execute them. when hunger is gone there will be nothing. only i will remain.

people will say "why cant the eldritch gods just be nice to humans :((" and then kill a bug for existing near them

While exploring a vast and inscrutable city which seems to predate life on earth I am gently picked up by something incomprehensible with the higher-dimensional equivalent of a cup and piece of paper, then lovingly set outside in my natural habitat. Unfortunately the being exists outside of time and can't really tell human cities apart from one another so I appear without warning in ancient sumer.

oh my god this is wonderful

I'm glad that people are still having fun on tumblr even after we found out about the frightening ghoul that reblogs posts but doesn't say anything

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I like when people like a character so way too much that it transcends even self shipping or kinning and becomes more of a patron saint that you pray to type of deal

"television" "fans" be like ugh I can't believe this episode was a chilling look at small town America's dependence on major corporations for employment, substance abuse, childhood trauma and intellectual property theft 🙄🙄 BORING!! it only furthered the storyline of a woman who has been a mystery since the first episode and revealed more abuse by the company who's abuses are central to the plot 😒

if i lived in the mushroom kingdom luigi and i would be best friends

mario and i would have a mutual respect for each other but we never really clicked

princess peach would have me executed via firing squad for the role i played in the infamous toad town murders of '96 but it would be later discovered that my involvement was greatly exaggerated and the severity of my sentence will weigh on peachs mind as she feels like it sullied her reputation as a fair and just ruler

daisy and i would play tennis

Waluigi and I fucked

waluigi and this guy fucked

“You shouldn’t glorify violence in your stories” well I’m glorifying it. Sexualizing it even.

Apparently this was my most popular post in 2024 and I want everyone to know that if you wrote a fucknasty problematic story this year, I, personally, am very proud of you

starting a foundation that gives disadvantaged children one wild ass night at the club

Why the fuck are you suggesting putting CHILDREN in a club?

So they can sip grey goose, maybe have a cig, and feel the rhythm? Are you the fun police?