it’s all love now

fencing au has reentered my brain space and I can’t stop thinking about them

emma swan should’ve been a LESBIAN that neverland kiss with hook should’ve been with a flustered regina that is genuinely far more submissive than she comes off

does anyone know what's left of me or what I've become

27 year old coming of age story

one of my favorite things to do in limited perspective is write sentences about the things someone doesn't do. he doesn't open his eyes. he doesn't reach out. i LOVE sentences like that. if it's describing the narrator, it's a reflection of their desires, something they're holding themselves back from. there's a tension between urge and action. it makes you ask why they wanted or felt compelled to do that, and also why they ultimately didn't. and if it's describing someone else, it tells you about the narrator's expectations. how they perceive that other person or their relationship. what they thought the other person was going to do, or thought the other person should have done, but failed to. negative action sentences are everything.

See the thing about Emma and Regina is that Emma was the only one who ever ever ever ever ever EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRR had Regina's back. Ever. Emma was the only one who had faith in her and that faith was UNWAVERING!!!!!!!! Watching ouat it can almost get annoying after a certain point the distrust of Regina. At a certain point you have to go damn, this woman STILL has not redeemed herself in your eyes??? After everything she has done you still believe she is going to relapse to evil THAT easily? Not Emma. I can count on ONE hand the number of times Emma genuinely believed Regina had betrayed her. And it was significant enough that when that happened I thought damn, Emma NEVER doubts Regina like this thats crazy. I am sick in the fucking head over them.

personally I'm annoyed by the socioeconomic conditions that made words like "unalive" necessary but simultaneously impressed by the linguistic adaptations young people have made to continue talking about important things while subject to those conditions and I think if you can't hold both of those thoughts in your head you might just be old man yelling at cloud

Two of my niblings (10 and 7) self-censor like this in real life during actual conversations. I tried briefly to explain to the 10-year-old that they didn't have to do that in real life after they said "unalive" out loud in casual conversation, and they just said they preferred to. On the one hand, I'm sad to see them unconsciously and fully without awareness succumbing to the panopticon. On the other... this post.

die has actually already undergone this process. die originally meant "flow" (i guess it's like you're flowing out of life or something? or maybe your life is flowing out of you idk). it was (probably) loaned from old norse to displace the now obsolete "swelt". and yes, that is the root word of "sweltering"

The fastest way to accomplish The Project is to cease being afraid of The Project. The Project cannot maim you. The Project cannot kill you. The Project is more afraid of you than you are of it. It is okay if The Project turns out differently from how it was in your head, and it is okay if it has flaws. You are capable of engaging with The Project.