we bought a shirt at a thrift store that says "best mom in louisiana" for some reason (as a reminder we are in midwest germany) and now my spouse keeps walking around the house wearing it and saying shit like "WHO STANDS BEFORE THE GREATEST MOM OF LOUISIANA?"

Uncles and Nephews can perform especially powerful attacks together. Experiment with different uncles and nephews to discover their unique abilities.

"all you ever do is complain" that's not true. I also resent.

everything is divine punishment if youre delusional enough

Teach your children to respect animals and the world around them. Teach them that nature isn't their toy and that their actions have consequences. Teach them compassion for other beings and creatures.

Let other living beings have autonomy. They're living their own lives, doing their own thing. There's no reason to disrupt them. If your paths cross, let them be. If you have to have to interact, then any interact should happen with the least amount of harm possible (which also includes stress).

so i hauve covid rn and i must say, American cold medicine is the absolute bees knees. You go to a UK pharmacy and they tenderly press like eight (8) paracetamol into the palm of your hand... God FORBID you're sick in France, i had to scour every pharmacy in Paris for something that wasn't HOMEOPATHIC PASTILLES. meanwhile last night i took the last of my stash of Nyquil that expired in 2019 and it was like getting hit by a fucking baseball bat (affectionate). press X to timeskip. LOVE me a cheeky little medically induced coma. you can really feel that it's a precursor to meth. i know that everything is fucking awful over there my friedns and my heart goes out to every one of you but if you need one small bright light of national pride in this time of strife please know that i envy you your cold medicine every day

i once took an american antihistamine pill just a basic one for seasonal allergies and i had to immediately lay down and while doing so i vividly hallucinated that i was a steerage passenger on the titanic resigned to my death as my cabin filled up rapidly with water. then i blacked out and when i woke up again my allergies were gone for the entire season.

The Hat Man is our greatest export

Melanie Martinez wishes she was Grimes. Grimes wishes she was Bjork. Bjork wishes she was 2 inches tall so she could go inside the computer and have a big adventure

i need to get off tumblr i’m at the aquarium admiring the fish and my brain goes “posts that make you want to get in the water” what are you talking about. these are live fish in the room with you. what post.

yet another cosmic unfairness: a manatee is some kind of big fat dumpling beast of the sea that wants you to pet it so bad we had to make laws against doing just that for their safety