Brett

Sometimes, if you’re lucky, there will be a tree outside your bedroom window. It is very important to romanticize this tree as much as possible.

tag yourselves i'm the GREAT ROOM beside the GOURMET KITCHEN

i didn’t know bread made you fat until scott pilgrim vs the world when he’s like “bread makes you fat?!” and i turned to mum and was like wait does bread make you fat and she’s like yes……??? like omfg i literally thought it was like air lowkey like rice cakes you know how they’re like air wait don’t tell me rice cakes make you fat too omfg i can’t handle this right now but i just feel like spongy pointless foods like bread are just sort of cushioning like suspension for the proper meal omg idk

university websites should have information on them

too radical

this is like in the wizard of oz books when Dorothy realizes that every animal-- even animals from the regular world-- can talk when they're in Oz. so she's like, "Toto, look, I just want to know if you can talk. Why don't you talk?? You should be able to talk here, do you want to talk??" and Toto just says "no" and never talks again. all like fifteen books he can talk and chooses not to except to let Dorothy know that he can talk, and simply doesn't want to. iconic

i use this site just like how a middle aged woman uses facebook

Guy that flinches every time he has to open a can of soda and holds it really far away from himself arms outstretched face turned away barely looking visibly frightened and every time it hisses even a little bit he flinches or yelps and runs away and hides under a blanket and then slowly comes back to resume opening the soda the exact same way and his hands are shaking

"tumblr's the only social media without algorithms!" "you can still be anonymous on tumblr!" "tumblr's so nice because you don't have to show your face!" WRONG tumblr is special because you can have 3000 followers and still get an average of seven likes a post. i'm doing stand up comedy at a packed venue and one person is laughing

a court of thorns and roses. ballad of songbirds and snakes. bowl of macaroni and cheese