Girl help I'm in the sea

can you take my white ass to funkytown

nope. torture city again

come on

Buran Orbiter

Okay and the left one?

dogy

Anon bb come back i can change for you

imgonna throw up laughing theres a cat outside my apartment complex and i was trying to get a picture of my hand on him for size comparison and my phone decided im the whitest person ever like literally #FFFFF 0% saturation 100% lightness i put it in my art program and color dropped itthis is so funny why . Why did this happen

Downright Vampiric...

please wear sunscreen!!! I've seen "fuck the beauty industrial complex" posts about complicated skincare regimens and am 100% with them except sometimes they mention sunscreen and no. no. absolutely not. sunscreen is a wonderful supportive friend who wants to keep you safe, and you should let her do it. throw out all your other cosmetics and skincare products if you want, but keep your sunscreen. and if you're not wearing sunscreen, start wearing it!!!! this is not about terror of aging, this is not about every tiny imperfection our fucked-up culture has made you feel insecure about, this is about protecting yourself from skin cancer. wear the damn sunscreen.

i could definitely beat the shit out of master chief seeing as i'm a lesbian and he's not a lesbian

I DONT CARE HOW MANY BEDS THERE WERE. WHAT IS YOUR BOOK ABOUT

(tearfully) w- working at the mattress store

i'm so fucking sorry. can you ever forgive me

one moment ☝️ *pauses the blowjob to start violently coughing up blood*

im not a girl Unless ☝️ im being told to go piss