lil space lil me

lifehack: when you see a Take One candy bowl in a restaurant, wait until noones looking and shovel candy into your pockets. god may judge you but his sins outnumber your own

“God may judge you but his sins outnumber your own.” We really need to start collecting and sourcing these Potent Quotables.

No one tell OP that the Scottish call it Juice

The Addams family was, in fact, both magical and supernatural for its depiction of a healthy, loving, supportive, and fun married m/f couple.

I seem to recall once reading a review that said that Gomez and Morticia were the only couple on television in the 1960s whom you could actually imagine producing children.

Being like Gomez and Morticia should be anyone’s relationship goals.

can not pick this burrito up bc its heavy and im scared it’ll bust a fat burrito nut if i lift it so its positioned like a meat obelisk for me to deepthroat

Everything about this statement turned me on……

Would you like to publically role play sex about it?

my DNA test results came back positive. i definitely have DNA.

quit bragging

Ms Frizzle teaches science, with magic

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do you ever start bullshitting a paper, and then look over it halfway through and think, ’…Wait a minute, I could be onto something here.’

this is the definition of college.

Literally I was writing a paper on Asian salt water crocodiles, like a simple about them paper for a college class, and I started noticing some inconsistencies in the scientific papers I was sourcing and I accidentally discovered that the crocodile has been misdiagnosed as least concerned on the endangered species list when they should be classified as endangered and now my professor is having me write a formal report to the international Red List to have them reclassified and all I wanted to do was write this paper on an animal I thought was cool and now I’m considered an expert on this species…

this is how it works half of esteemed biologists trip and fall into their specialty while pursuing something else. one lecturer i just went to started as a biochemist researching antibiotics and discovered that crocodiles change colors based on environment and now he has 30+ crocs in his yard for research purposes and he’s just like… “wait… i’m a chemist…”

How did so many people end up with crocodiles on accident?????

Accidental crocodiles lol

Crocodiles are conspiring to become the third domesticated predator

It’s in that prophecy. “After a while: crocodile.”

Me, watching my mutuals speak other languages, not understanding a single word: fucking superb you funky little bilinguals

אני אוהב אותך!!!