bloosoming alone

Not everyone can say they’ve been to the Big Apple, but ZELDA PETRAS, a 25 year-old FEMALE has lived in WEST VILLAGE, MANHATTAN for 13 YEARS. This is the city of dreams and SHE knows it, because they came to NYC to be a PAINTER / PERFORMANCE ARTIST. Living in the city means they meet all kinds of people, but everyone always seems to think they look like KRISTINE FROSETH. They even got away with free cab fare once because of it! [violet, 24, she/they, est, self harm & abuse]

Do they prefer sleeping alone or with someone else?

She prefers sleeping with someone else, but doesn’t make a habit of it. It’s a special kind of intimacy for her, usually reserved for friends or people she really cares about. Otherwise, she kind of ghosts when it comes time to spend the (whole) night with someone.

Are they too hard on themselves over the little things?

Yes. Certain things - how she treats others and her work, mostly.

Do they like tv shows or movies? Or neither?

Do they wake up groggy or alert? Do they like mornings?

It takes Zelda at least a half an hour to become a fully functioning human after she’s woken up. She doesn’t like waking up early, but she likes being awake early so she can see the sunrise. At heart she’s a morning person, but in execution - not as much.

What are their phobias? Do they have any at all?

Zelda’s biggest fear is abandonment, losing anyone she loves. And snakes, because she was bitten by a rattlesnake when she was eleven at Joshua Tree. Needless to say, it scarred her for life.

Do they have a fear they want to conquer, but haven’t yet?

Facing her parents, really confronting them about how they treat her.

Do they have social media? Do they like it or hate it? Obsess over it?

Do they wear their hair down when they sleep, or tied up / braided?

Because Zelda’s hair is pretty long, she usually sleeps with it tied back with a scrunchie so it doesn’t get super tangled. But half the time, she’s too tired...or lazy.

Bar soap or liquid? do they like loofahs?

Bar soap because it’s generally better for the environment (less packaging) & she likes organic and homemade things. Pro loofah.

What do they never, ever want to speak of, ever?

Her trauma. She generally dodges questions about her time as a runaway, and just...all of high school, really. 

Do they have parents / parental figures? do they have a good relationship with them?

maybe it’s because he’s drunk or maybe it’s just that he has really bad aim, but of the five rings he’d tossed jude had managed to get only two of them on a stick. and really, the way it’s set up, it shouldn’t be that hard. “listen, zel, don’t let this affect how you see me as a person,” jude says somberly as the man running the game gathers up the rings with an expression of deepest contempt. “i genuinely can’t remember which drinks i’ve had, just take that into account. i did really want to win you one of those oversized dragon-looking stuffed animals, though,” he points one of them out, a forked tongue poking out of its gaping mouth and spikes on its back made of cheap felt, “he’s pretty fucking savage, isn’t he? shame i have no depth perception when i’m pissed. i could get you candy floss instead.” is that too much? he wonders suddenly. is it too obvious? but his sluggish brain tells him he’s fine, it’s all good, and anyway it doesn’t matter because zelda looks achingly beautiful and he’s happy just to be in her company. “in return, you come outside with me for a cigarette. i’ll go mad if i don’t get some nicotine in my blood, d’you know what i mean? addiction is so very real.” it’s not a joke he’d have made if he was sober, but he’s not sober. gesturing toward the cotton candy stand, he flashes zelda a grin. “shall we?” // @zpetras​

“Honestly, Jude? I’m fucking astounded that you threw them in the right direction.” She says, grinning in pure bewilderment. Zelda hasn’t seen him this wasted in a while, but it’s certainly not the worst. In fact she doesn’t find herself to be even slightly annoyed that he’s quite a bit ahead of her. She can’t help but smile at him, watching him fumble and fuss with the rings and looking disappointed in himself. Sweet Jude. “He is dope.” Blue eyes train on the bright fabric, on it’s little plastic teeth. Was it a dragon? It was hard to focus on much of anything with the lights, the music, the people. The multicolored booze. “There’s no way we could hang onto him in here all night. Plus it would be hell to get that on the train back home though, huh?” Zelda snickered suddenly, imagining trying to force the stuffed animal through a turnstile. No one had ever attempted to win her anything before, though, and the effort is really more than enough. How dare he? It was so unfair of him, to be so charmingly melancholic and attentive. Especially now, when she was drunk and malleable - not as fast to remember that they were friends. Not as quick to remember that she could very well ruin that if she didn’t behave. God, Zelda hates behaving. She suddenly itches for more alcohol, more something, she wants to keep herself floating for a bit longer. “Sugar and nicotine in exchange for my company? I’ll take it.” An arm loops through his and she wonders on to the cotton candy stand with a bright grin. A drink ago his joke would have worried her, but she brushes it off. “I’ll take an IOU for the dragon.”

to be told by zelda that she thinks he’s genuine is more of a compliment than she probably realizes, at least in his mind. honesty, life had taught him, was a rare and beautiful thing. if he can be that little bit of it for her in a life so full of disingenuous people, then he’s happy. it is, after all, the very least of what she deserves. “everybody loves me now, do they?” he teases, handing the cigarette back and waving the apology away as he takes the drink. “don’t be ridiculous, i was gonna ask if you mind if i join you.” he lifts himself briefly off the seat to take a pack of cigarettes out of the back pocket of his dress pants, pulls one out, and sticks it between his lips. “it was the same for me, though, except it didn’t just annoy my parents, it drove them batshit insane.” he smiles around the cigarette even as he lifts a lighter to it, but there’s really nothing happy about it. the memories aren’t good ones, and he does his best not to think about it when he can. even that is more than he likes to tell most people, but he likes zelda, and when he likes someone jude has something of a habit of letting his mouth run. “so you’ve always gotten your kicks roping people into your mischief, then,” he says, and blows a thin stream of smoke out the limousine window. “good to know. noted.” his stomach does an entirely familiar flip when zelda rests her head on his shoulder, the smell of her shampoo and whatever perfume she’s wearing wafting suddenly over him in a sweet cloud. without letting himself overthink it, he transfers the drink to the hand with a cigarette and slides an arm around her slim waist, the gesture wonderfully natural with the position she’s taken. he laughs as she fiddles with his tie while she speaks, the best part, of course, being that she, too, sounds perfectly genuine when she tells him he looks lovely. there have been countless times in his life when jude has fallen for somebody who just doesn’t feel the same way back, but he has an idea that might not be the case with zelda. and although he has no plans to rush anything–he likes getting to know her, likes the hanging out and the flirting and the chase of it all–he can’t quite help himself with the little things. things like a hand around her waist, or the way he digs his fingers into her side just to make her laugh. “so i’m just arm candy tonight, is that it? i knew something felt dodgy about this. go on, what are the meal plans? anything as fancy as this drink you’ve made me?”

Jude lighting his own cigarette was a strange comfort. She hated to see him unhappy, even a little bit, but it was just always nice to be around someone who understood. He just put everyone at ease, at least from her own observations. Zelda tried to be that way, but often worried that she was simply too destructive. But she tried, she really did. She tried to be a good friend and person and artist. Sometimes she even tried to be a good daughter - that’s the one thing that she can’t seem to manage. Sometimes she was just too honest, too stubborn, too outspoken. Zelda always fell into in-betweens. “You caught me. I always take the fall though, makes me feel heroic.” the artist quipped with a grin. An arm slips around her waist, as easy as her head on his shoulder. Her shoulders relax, a warmth sneaking through her bones. She hadn’t even noticed how tense she was. Was she always this tense before seeing her family? It’s been too long, really. Zelda erupts with a sudden giggle, his fingers digging into her side, making her squirm in her seat. She’s thankful to be drawn out of her own thoughts. “Y’know, for your own safety, never sneak up on me and tickle me. I have great reflexes and I would feel awful if I kicked your ass on accident.” She stole his drink from the hand that wasn’t holding her, scrunching her nose at him. “I actually get along great with my folks, I just needed a hot date.” Zelda grinned before taking a long sip of his drink and pausing to consider their options. “The food at these things is always, y’know, nothing...so I was thinking something more pizza-shaped. Come to think of it, it’s not my fault I always get hammered at these things, they never fed me and gave me an open bar.” She lifts her head to look at him. “Or, we could go somewhere with a few more stars, since I did trick you into this.” Artists are tricky, for the most part. Most of the time it was tricky to know how they felt about you, everyone was so free with affection. Zelda was not an exception to the rule. She and Jude have almost always been this level of close, but they’ve always been dating other people. But Zelda’s been single a while, longer than Jude. She’s had her flings, short and lowkey, at least to her. Not like Jude’s relationships. The dynamic has shifted, she knew. He wouldn’t be headed downtown to be her emotional support friend if it hadn’t. Well, he would have. But Zelda never would have asked. She glanced out the window. "Soon." She murmured with a nervous smile.

galas are exactly the type of affair jude had spent his childhood avoiding, much to the chagrin of his parents. nearly two decades later and he still thinks they’re ridiculous, but for the first time he doesn’t mind going, and it’s because of zelda. his infatuation with her knows no bounds; also, he’s looking forward to seeing her dressed up. her wispy, fantastical vibe she carries around with her every day is of course one of the things jude has been so helplessly charmed by, but there’s something to say for a pretty girl in a pretty dress, and zelda doesn’t disappoint. the suit isn’t as uncomfortable as he’d anticipated and jude’s even gone to the trouble of taming his flyaway curls for the evening, so it’s with a very real smile that he slides into the limo she’s pulled up in. “i’m a simple man, zel,” he says with a grin, “you tell me to wear a suit, i wear a suit.” she could have told him to do any number of things he didn’t want to do and he’d probably have done them, but he very pointedly does not let her know that’s the case. “a good decision, really,” he eyes the mini bar with raised brows, “if we’re going to indulge your parents we may as well indulge ourselves, as well. and in that spirit, i’ll have a giant glass of whatever’s most expensive.” he watches her as she goes about doing so–the slope of her neck, the line of her jaw, how delicate her hands look handing glass–and after a moment he decides to add, “you look really beautiful, by the way. i’m sorry it has to sound so horribly cliche but i promise i genuinely mean it.”

he really does look handsome. her mother would love him, she realized suddenly and then wondered if she could risk her mother knowing anything real about her personal life. no, maybe it was jude she was worried about seeing too much. hm. it was likely both. the sudden movement of the limo back into traffic jolted her back into focus. she had to scoot a little to the minibar, and she passed him her cigarette before preparing a drink from ice and the fanciest looking liquor bottle. “thank you,” zelda exhaled a little laugh. she added in soda and a couple of limes and handed the glass to jude after settling back into her seat. “I know you mean it, I never worry about that. you’re always genuine.” painted lips curved into an easy smile. zelda felt the small delight in telling simple truths. but then, oh ! he really meant it. she felt quite beautiful tonight, she had to admit. she had taken the time to apply her makeup - a light shimmer adorned her eyelids, pink gloss on her lips. she braided half of her hair into a crown. her cheeks were rosy, but that was due to the brooklyn air. it would be a little while until they reach the upper east side. “i’m sure that’s one of the reasons everyone loves you so much.” zelda shouldered him playfully, taking back her cigarette. “sorry...about that.” she murmured, taking a final drag and then stubbing into an ashtray. “little traditions.” she explained. “I almost always smoke before I go to stuff like this. I used to have to hide it, nothing made my father angrier than zelda with a cigarette... sometimes I could get my sister or one of my cousins to join me.” her voice is low and smiling and just a little mischievous. she leans her head on jude’s steady shoulder. “I already have an escape route and meal options planned. but oh, you look so lovely, maybe we should stay longer and spread your beauty...” she grinned without a hint of sarcasm, a hand busy straightening his tie.