Dr. Mike's Vet Blog

In no particular order…

ASPIRIN. I know, they sell “doggy aspirin” at pet stores. Aspirin at normal doses isn’t harmful to your pet (probably… I mean, I don’t know your pet or it’s kidneys), but it doesn’t work all that well. More importantly, if you give it we can’t give other NSAIDs (Non-Steroidal Anti Inflammatory Drug) that work better and are safer (note I did not say safe, just saf-er). This also brings us to all the other NSAIDs. Don’t do it. At all. I’m not kidding here. One Aleeve (naproxen) could kill your dog. I’m not being hyperbolic either. Please don’t do this.

HYDROGEN PEROXIDE. Why does everyone want to use this. I guess because it bubbles a lot and your high school coach had it in their first aid kit. Well, your high school coach also thought Judas Priest was the best band ever. Hello? The Beatles? Nirvana? Even freaking Styx. I digress. While it bubbles a lot and one splash won’t hurt, if you keep using it, it is irritating to tissues and inhibits healing. Worst ears I ever saw? Rinsed with hydrogen peroxide once a day for a week. Want to clean a wound? Soap and water. There you go. Soap has two molecular “sides:” A hydrophilic (water loving) side and a hydrophobic (water hating) side. Oils and organic stuff sticks to the hydrophobic side and is washed out when you rinse with water. That’s science, yo!

PEPTO (the pink stuff) This probably isn’t on the top of most vet’s lists, but I see it all the time. It’s not going to kill your dog, but it does contain salicylate (a precursor to aspirin). And worst of all, it doesn’t usually work. “Hey, Dr. Mike. I’ve been giving pepto for five days and it isn’t better.” “I know. Stop it. Give a bland diet and if it’s not better in a few days, bring it in.” (What’s a bland diet? Just like for us. The BRAT diet. Bananas. Rice. Apple sauce. And… Tacos? That can’t be right… Toast! It’s toast.)

HOMEOPATHIC REMEDIES… you know what? Knock yourself out. Then, when it doesn’t work, come see me. We’ll use what I like to call “Actual Medicine.” Not to be confused with Herbal Medicine which actually has some studies to back it up. But find a vet that knows what they’re doing. Herbal remedies are not without their dangers, too. I’m talking to you California and your new love of CBD. You know where we get aspirin? Willow bark. I’m pretty sure. Anyway, what are the chances someone on the internet is going to correct me if I’m wrong?

Q-TIPS. Noting against cotton tip swabs. I love them and use them all the time. They’re great for cleaning the skin folds of brachycephalic breeds (breeds with short faces like pugs and bulldogs and Rene Zellweger—love you Rene!). Used in the ear Q-tips will pack the ear wax down in the horizontal canal like civil war cannon. Just use a mild flush and cotton balls. The ears will get plenty clean and we won’t have that awkward moment in the exam room where I slow-blink while trying to come up with a diplomatic way of saying, “you did what?”

MIDI-CHLORIANS. Can we please pretend this never happened? Please?

DIAGNOSING YOUR DOG/CAT BY GOOGLE. Feel free to look up some things, but I guarantee every symptom your pet has will lead to cancer on Dr. Google. Don’t freak out, just go see your vet, and tell them that you looked it up on Goo(cancer)gle. We’ll give you the straight poop.

BONUS ROUND

Things you didn’t think were THAT dangerous

-Cleaning supplies: Some are irritants some are outright poisons. This includes undiluted bleach, Lysol and many others. Some are outright poisons. I once saw a cat that jumped in an aquarium being cleaned with an undiluted cleaning agent. The paws were burned raw and the tongue and throat were so swollen he could barely breathe. With several weeks of supportive care and pain medication he recovered, but I will never forget the hamburger like look of his tongue and throat. There are many pet safe cleansing agents you can make or find on line. If you like the heavy duty stuff make sure your pets are secured and safe.

Double Bonus: Fabreeze never killed any pets. Internet myth. Fabreeze away. (Full disclosure— I looked up toxicology reports from the ASPCA to confirm this.)

-Gorilla Glue: I love the stuff. Love it. Apparently it’s somewhat sweet tasting though. Dogs will down a whole bottle before you can say, “Drop it!” Then comes the real horror. The glue will expand and harden in the stomach. Without emergency surgery, your dog could die of, literally, an exploded stomach. Don’t believe me? Here’s a report:

http://fox4kc.com/2018/02/07/thanks-to-vet-kc-couples-rottweiler-puppy-miraculously-survives-after-eating-bottle-of-gorilla-glue/

-Any Medication around a Labrador: Seriously, these guys will eat anything. And interestingly, so will other pets. I found my cats chewing on a capsule of omeprizole (Prilosec). I have reflux, and it works great. But how they found a capsule is beyond me. You’d think chlid-proof also means cat-proof, but there it was. Oh! And if there’s some medicine that might be embarrassing to mention. Just tell us. I guarantee we’ve heard it before. It might be the thing that saves your beloved pet.

-Essential Oils: People use these in diffusers to make their houses smell like a spa in Santa Barbara. But in the concentrated form some oils are toxic. Especially to cats. There are no reports of diffused oils causing any problems, but make sure your cats can’t get to that essence of clove you use to spice up your living room.

-Carpet Cleaners: Make sure the powder or liquid is cleaned up before you let your cat walk on it. They will lick their paws.

-Insecticides: Especially with cats. Never, ever, ever use a dog product on a cat. If it says for dogs only, then believe them.

That’s it for now. What common household things were you surprised to find out are dangerous to your pet?

I’m signing my death warrant. I know this, but when you have an epiphany, no matter how misguided, you need to share it. And live with the consequences.

If you haven’t seen the latest Star Wars movie, The Last Jedi, then stop reading. You aren’t a fan, and this won’t matter to you. Or do keep reading. I don’t care, and you have free will. America.

For starters, these are my qualifications to talk about this: I’ve seen Star Wars. All of them. In the theaters. Yes, I saw A New Hope in the theaters at 6 years of age. I had the action figures. And the bed sheets. I’ve also seen every OS Star Trek and every TNG. I didn’t really care for Enterprise. Yeah. I’m a fan. Not a super duper fan, but a pretty big fan. I unapologetically own a light saber.

And a cat.

Society wants you to believe that there are Star Wars fans and there are Star Trek fans. The two are mutually exclusive. Oil and water. While this is true for some, and most people have a preference, the truth is that most of us like both. And Firefly. And Battle Star Galactica. And Galaxy Quest. And the Marvel Universe. But never DC… okay, the Flash is okay. To this end I humbly offer the following.

In The Last Jedi we see something we’ve never seen before. Yoda shows up and interacts with Luke. Yeah, we’ve seen that, but in this case he actually smacks him with his cane. Then Yoda causes a lightning strike out of no where and destroys the Jedi Library. Kind of extreme response to late fees, but I digress. The point is that creating lightning is pretty incredible! What’s next? A puppy?

This interaction with matter is a huge evolution in Jedi powers. In the previous movies the communication from beyond death was always a voice or a ghostly apparition. In a relatively short time, starting with Qui-Gon Jinn, they’ve gone from a whisper in the ear to almost unlimited power to transcend space and time.

This happened “a long time ago.” With time the Jedi could easily have gown their powers to unbelievable levels.Freed from their corporeal bodies, space would mean nothing to them. After all this time they would become omniscient and all powerful.

They could easily come in contact with other species in galaxies far, far away. And really some of the Jedi are pretty cheeky, so they might even be puckish beings. As their powers grow, they might even go by a different name. One named after the first one to transcend death, Qui-Gon.

Or, for short,

The Q.

Let the internet beat down begin.