Ashley

one time a guy i know whose girlfriend was heavily pregnant didn’t tweet anything for a whole day so i texted him ‘congrats on your baby’ and made him think i had some kind of baby precognition 

like six months after that just after halloween i asked to see his son dressed as a ‘fat baby pumpkin’ and he was like ‘who told you’ and i said ‘no one. it’s halloween. you have a fat baby. he’s going to be a pumpkin’ 

bbc sherlock wants what i have

thinking about that illustration of solitude vs loneliness in which solitude is a dog peacefully holding its own leash & loneliness is a feral dog fighting against the restraint of the leash & feeling slightly insane

Native speakers of any language are the least knowledgeable about the grammatical rules of that language

A cock is thicker than a dick

Would you like to find out what you would be the god of? Take my new uqiz to find out

'Star Wars' and 'Harry Potter' are two franchises that try to claim, textually, that it doesn't really matter who your family is whilst showing subtextually that it unequivocally does matter who your family is.

subtext isn't a thing dude

Welp, there’s my entire literature degree disproven.