I would really like for my multifaceted family crisis to stop now please.
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

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@boots-n-cats
I would really like for my multifaceted family crisis to stop now please.

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I lived and worked in a lighthouse at a previous job. There was a thick line painted in a circle around the shack where the fog signal was kept. The line represented how close you could get to the fog signal without experiencing physical harm in the form of eardrums shattering or worse.
Even in the house it was LOUD. Probably the loudest thing I have ever experienced but at a normal, predictable interval. You would begin to time your sentences with little pauses with the rest of the lighthouse crew so you would talk like this while making your………..HORN…………. tea and then carry on talking because you knew when it would go off. It rattled the walls and the dishes in our cabinet.
At least one girl had died there. They kept photos of her everywhere “in honor of her sacrifice” because she had decided to take the winter watch alone and died in a storm where bounders the size of mini vans had been lifted out of the ocean and left scattered across the island, to say nothing of the ice chunks. People weren’t allowed to be alone on the watch after that.
One day a dead moose washed up on shore and it took my entire crew all day but we managed to rig up a line to hang it up to dry because we thought having a moose skeleton in the house would really spice the living room up a bit. It did. Weird shit happens when six of you are left alone, like ALONE ALONE, no cell reception, no wifi, just a radio to contact the real world and not a lot of reason to do that. People don’t go on lighthouse jobs if they want to stay connected, I’ve found.
That said Id do it all again, I really do treasure those days
you know you could’ve just said “no they don’t have wifi” and that would’ve answered the question
But then you wouldnt have known about the moose
Peace and love on planet earth
I'm so mad... I had to scroll back up to like and reblog this.

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LESBIAN
Hit the like button
Easter egg for office workers: if you go onto Excel and press ctrl+right, then ctrl+down, you will reach cell XFD1048576. If you put a dot in there, then ctrl+A and fill every cell in black, you can then print 34 million black pages from your office printer and get fired
Another equivalent : if you live out of town/state and want to see friends that live in the same area as your family…. Don’t tell your family you’re in town so you can enjoy the weekend guilt free.
Baby needs a smoko #Sligarette
Inspired by this post by @textheslightlymorelimited

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@m0llymauk-tealeaf did you ghostwrite this bby? it sounds EXACTLY like you
When a rapist takes away your food to punish you for not allowing him to steal your health care, it's time to admit Trump lied to you.
An empty ballroom will not feed you.
An empty ballroom will not cover your health.
Raping children should have been your red flag.
sometimes i wonder if im actually butch or if im a poser then i remember that sincerely the most turned on ive ever been in my entire life was the day a femme (who i always held the door for of course) was walking a few feet ahead of me, reached the doorway, then STOPPED and waited for me to open it for her like she wouldn’t be caught dead touching a door handle when i was around. like she had forgotten how to open it herself. like it would burn her if she touched it. i still think about her all the time.
i genuinely think being spoiled is the hottest thing a femme can be. this girl was seriously smart as a whip and a thousand times more competent than i could ever hope to be. she can open a damn door, but the fact that she not only LETS me make her life a little easier, but INSISTS on it? im lightheaded
the best thing about this post is seeing femmes in the tags saying stuff like like “oh ive never thought about this. i should stop being so hyper independent and let my butch take care of me” YES!!! MY EVIL PLAN IS WORKING!!!
Source
My hobby is making shitpost MtG customs

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they already peaked with the lighter lighter so. it's all clowns and hardware from here
literally paramore was right
about…?
name one thing paramore was wrong about
ill wait