Anon Confessional

A safe and hopefully fun place to ask questions or just share what's on your mind.

sometimes i think about running away and how scarily easily it’d be for me to do. i think about how easy it’d be for me to just turn off my phone and start walking and just go missing, just for a few hours. not forever. just to know how it feels. just to see if anyone came looking for me. just to know what it feels like for once in my life to be somewhere where not a single person in the world knows where i am. i think about how dangerous it’d be and how i still want to do it anyway. i think about how it’d probably piss my parents off and make my mother cry and how i still want to do it anyway. i’m worried that one day i won’t be able to stop myself.

I love my friends so much, but sometimes, maybe all the time I feel like I always end up becoming my friend's therapist. I either let them vent to me constantly or we grow apart. I feel like all the negativity is drowning me. Thank you for making this blog, I just needed to get this off my mind

i haven't smoked in a long time (i wouldn't say i was ever addicted but there was a period where i would smoke every day) but recently i've been getting some urges and honest to god the one thing that made me rethink it was those "tips from former smokers" PSAs from like 2012 (and apparently still going now that i checked their website). idk it's just different to hear "smoking is bad, don't do it" than it is to actually see the effects of it on real people and how quickly it can fuck someone's life over. also i'm broke and cigarettes/vapes are expensive so that's also a good reason to not pick up smoking again

Hiii, anon with the cop who took an interest in me again. I think I may have written my ask a little wrong—the cop hasn’t mentioned his wife at all! He completely avoids even mentioning he’s married lol. One time we were talking about being in our 20s, and he was like “yeah, I got my first house when I was 25, I had my son when I was 27….” And he literally just trailed off and stopped after that, like that would have been the perfect opportunity for him to be like “and I got married when I was x age.” I don’t get it, like I can see the ring on his finger lol, it’s not like we flirt or anything, like we literally talk about such neutral topics. The most scandalous thing he’s ever said was that I “seemed fit”, which is a giveaway that he finds me attractive, but still, pretty neutral. So what’s even the point if we’re just friends and it’s just friendly casual conversation. I would enjoy talking to him regardless lol, so it’s not going to make me stop talking to him if he mentions his wife lol. And thinking back to the last year (since we’ve known of each other for a year), while I’ve always thought he was hot, I never paid much attention to him if I’m being honest. But, now that I’m thinking about it… I have a sneaking suspicion he’s been paying attention to me. Like I can’t prove it so I sound crazy lol, but I have such a strong intuition about it, like the feeling you get when you’re being watched and you look up and you are. But, I digress. I have no intentions or interest in being a home wrecker, it’s just nice talking to a hot man who is mutually attracted to me lol. And I enjoy the psychology of it all. This man thinks he’s being very professional and casual and cool about it all, but unfortunately for him I have strong pattern recognition and I can see right through him, and it’s all very amusing to me

is it drug abuse if someone with a yellow jacket sting takes a Benadryl (antihistamine) for the dual purpose of soothing the sting and being put to sleep by the drowsiness side effect?

theatre anon

I'm so tired of being disabled. This shit sucks and I'm not even on disability from the state. Went out two days in a row, yesterday was a local theme park, today was a county fair. Both pretty cool places but ughhhh, I know I'm gonna be bedridden for a while. Standing unsupported is becoming more of a struggle, I was able to rent a wheelchair at the theme park, but it was a really shitty one. No brakes at all, the wheel rims you grab were super grimey, and the hills around the park were too steep anyways so I had to wait until somebody could transport me anywhere.

Hiii, no one prob remembers me lol which is fine, but I sent in a long ask about a month ago about how a cop took an interest in me and described our two convos and such. Well, we’ve chatted more since then and god he’s lowkey driving me crazy. It feels like one of those situations where you’re both attracted to each other but neither of you acknowledge it and neither of you ever will. And I can feel him trying to keep it professional, but then the more we talk the more he’ll share random bits of information about himself freely without me having to prompt him, and he’s comfortable swearing now lol (he apologized once for it). And really it’s just really funny to me because we chat until he either gets a call he has to attend to, or until he realizes he’s been standing and talking for too long and should probably get back to whatever his duties currently are. Which doesn’t feel professional lmao. And then we just chat like we’ve known each other for forever because the convo just naturally flows, but we haven’t known each other for very long (we’ve been saying hello to each other for a year though) so it’s a lot of getting to know you questions at the same time. Aaaand I know by now that men don’t just seek out women for no reason. Often times men seek out women they’re attracted to, and that doesn’t mean they plan on pursuing them, but they will try and talk to them and make friends with them. Also another added layer to it…. He’s married lol, and guess what? He’s never mentioned being married or having a wife. He’s mentioned his kid before, and it felt like he was testing how I would react to knowing he has a kid. But I’ve worked with married men and taken men before, and every single one of them mention their wives and gfs with no problem. Men who seek friendship don’t do that lol. My manager thinks he’s just not happy at home and enjoys my attention, and that our convos are a pleasant escape and make him feel younger and desirable lol, cause he is over 10 years older than me. It’s crazy tho, I smiled at him one time a year ago, and this is where it’s slowly led to, men are such interesting creatures

went through the social media of someone i used to mutuals with and look up to a long long time ago, now they're trans and somehow also transphobic and borderline right-wing despite calling themselves punk... literally every other post is them shitting on non-binary people or neopronouns or leftists or alt people (especially alt women) jesus fucking christ get a life. i am all of the above btw so that's nice. at least i no longer talk to them, in retrospect they were probably one of the reasons i shoved myself so deep into the closet because they Have been weird, i was just 14 and easily impressed by people i thought looked cool

i don’t know how to reconcile my love of what happened with how little i know it matters.

moving into college in two-ish days

my mom refuses to believe I don't like anyone (ace) and is making me get a therapist for it and I'm just AUURGHHSHDHDHDHHDDCBBRBDKDKFNR so mad. crying in bed rn

Bruhhhh I can't have one day go perfectly fine...

also my best friend of 7 years has been ghosting me for nearly a month

It’s dumb, and I don’t like to be a buzzkill, but I relapsed, for no reason, because I can’t see six feet ahead into my future, and I’m really not doing well about it. I keep having this pattern of getting into slumps and then fucking up my life. My legs hurt, my head is foggy, and I don’t know what to do. I feel like the protagonist of the bell jar, I think I want to did but I have this undercurrent of needing to live. I don’t know how to sort out my life, and I know it’s not the end of the world, but I keep letting things drop, and I’m so fortunate that my family is well off, and that I can afford to take a degree because I’m genuinely passionate about it, but I don’t know what I want to do in university, and I don’t know what I want to do with my life, and I understand that highschool is somehow critical in the run of my life but my highschool experience is just full of empty moments and letting things pass by because I’m too scared to try, and I’ve been coddled too much, and my mind right that I like finer things in life and if I can’t make money then I can’t follow my passions but I’m just so stuck like a deer in headlights and I don’t know which way to go. Maybe that’s why I relapsed, maybe I was just trying to let it all go.