I got a bit depressed today. My mom asked if I get lonely being in the upstairs of the house all day. I wanted to tell her yes but I knew it wouldn't do any good. So I told her no, I have somewhere more comfortable to sit and I don't have to wear my earbuds when I am up there. All reasons I do it but the real reason is it's her fault. Even as the adult I am, she doesn't want anything to do with me. I try to talk to her I get ignored, she side steps the topic and talks about what she wants to, she starts up a facebook video, or even decides to call someone in the middle of me talking to her. I try to do activities with her but she only wants me to do her housework for her and says she doesn't want to do any of the things I suggest. HECK, I try to get her out of the house and offer to pay for whatever I have in mind for us she tells me she doesn't feel like it, then asks me to do the dishes. I've even asked her if she wants to watch a movie SHE likes with me and get shot down. And yet I'm made to be the villain for wanting to handle my adult responsibilities without interruption and doing my own fun things on my own. Why would I want to sit basically all day with her reruns of Little House blaring in my ears and her napping all day or staring at me from across the table refusing to have a real conversation with me or just berating me the whole time? I get nothing done that way. Never become your parent's caretaker. I don't care how close you are, you soon won't be. It sucks big time. I still do love and care for her but it is exhausting and blurs the parent/child relationship. Some ppl are fine with this btw. I'm talking in a more general sense. And those that would never care for their parents really like to give their opinions on the topic...Idk, just so very tired and not doing great mentally.
