assigned monster at birth

New and improved! Sad Wet Dog of a top is thinking about how he wants to hurt you but doesn't want to hurt you and the contradiction is slowly and steadily making him Lose His Whole Fucking Mind.

#we as a society need to make dom drop a searchable tag on ao3 (tag from @terkaterr)

Why is it that every time I google something like "Are olives poisonous to cats" the top results are always like "Fun fact: Cats are carnivores! This means that they eat meat. There is no reason to include olives in a cat's diet. You should feed your cat cat food, which is dry or wet food especially designed for cats. You can purchase this at a store." like is there a single person alive on the planet who's googled "Are blueberry muffins safe for cats" because they're planning on switching their cat to a muffin-only diet??? No, I'm asking because the little bastard somehow popped open the packet while I was putting away the groceries and dragged one under the couch before I could react and now I need to know if I should call the after-hours vet. "Cats should not eat spaghetti." NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!!!! "Try to keep human food away from cats." i live in a studio apartment with a completely silent and permanently hungry apex predator who has the intelligence of a toddler and the desperate Machiavellian cunning of a creature who spent his formative months on the streets. He can already open doors and he is this 👌 close to learning how to open the microwave. He is stronger than me and covered in knives. So im gonna do my best but for the moment i just need you to tell me whether this yoghurt is going to kill my son y/n

For plants specifically, there’s also a wildly detailed set of posts and listings about toxicity on the old, wonderful, Plants Are the Strangest People blog

"Stronger than me and covered in knives" 😹😻😼

treating your own characters badly is problematic? back in my day if we were mildly inconvenienced on the way to work we'd vivisect them for the stress relief

This is one of your worst posts yet man

You called me dirt sucking poor and told me my carrot looks like a cock

I've just found the single most homoerotic piece of LOTR art ever who wants to see

Um, YES?