lover of things

Hi I’m Jess 💝

Getting back to my tumblr even though I feel like I’m way too old (25), and washed up (working full time and miserable). But I’m here! And I’m gonna write more, and not care if anyone’s reading it.

If you want some home-made witchcraft, paganism, and song of Achilles content- scroll far enough and you’ll find the roots of my blog.

Being a few years post college has given me time to explore not only my Christian upbringing, but also my journey through paganism. It’s given me the time to reflect and recognize what parts of my upbringing weren’t serving me, and what parts of my newfound religion made me feel seen. Don’t get me wrong, I believe all religions have truth in them, I’m an omnist in that way. Okay if I were to be religious I think I would claim omnist- okay okay I’m sidetracked. Regardless, like many people I found the foundation of love and acceptance of the Anglican community refreshing.

I stumbled upon it organically, I only recently even started attending church. No one individual or even group of people impacted me, I was tuned into the entire veneration of it all. The veneration of Mary and her sacrifice, of seeing Jesus as a human being, not just a Son of god. Of recognizing the martyrdom associated with the radical act of loving. As a queer woman, a LESBIAN, I’m empowered by how much respect is held for the ultimate message conveyed through our liturgy- love. Serve one another. Give. I never felt this when I grew up Christian, afraid of being honest about who I am. My episcopal church just had a pride event!

If I could look 15 year old me in the face, I would tell her to leave Christianity. I would tell her to wake up early at 6:00am and watch the sunrise while giving an offering to Apollo. I would tell her to enjoy the feeling in her chest of finally feeling in control. But most importantly, I would tell her to stop worrying. To stop worrying about if the path is right, and to start worrying about how much I’m enjoying the journey! And this isn’t me saying it was a phase, I truly believe in it! I think I’m just on this journey, and I’ve started to accept what suits me and what doesn’t. And that can change. So if you’re 15 and thinking about god in a way that keeps you up at night, it’s okay. You’re gonna worry, but just know it’s not forever.