all i do is play video games incorrectly 

Bear religion probably fucking rocks. You're a fucking bear, you're the deadliest thing on earth, once a year an endless supply of salmon just flings itself up the river to gorge on and then you nap for 3 months.

The most delicious food in the world is protected by tiny demons who can defend it from everyone except you. Your natural armor is thick enough that you can just eat the damn hive while they buzz around you. God's chosen animals right there

love the idea of bears being the chosen species actually. having a near death experience and glimpsing heaven and realising it's just full of bears, no humans at all, humans not ensouled actually, humans an accidental byproduct of God's plan for bears

“If I had time travel I’d kill Hitler” “If I had time travel I’d stop my favourite politician getting assassinated” you’re all thinking way too small. If I had time travel I’d stop Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from dying on the moon due to Soviet sabotage, kicking off the Great Nuclear War and devastating half of the planet.

Good Job.

do you think no one else has time travel

Happy one month anniversary to this post that has not allowed me a single day of fucking peace since I made it.

wow if only you had a time machine

Honestly having reached a billion notes I think it’s safe to say that in the Year of our lord 2041, this is the most popular tumblr post out there.

I’m killing your parents before you’re born

:)

Still here, why’d you hesitate @derinthescarletpescatarian

Your mum’s ability to hold up under active gunfire was really hot. I’m your dad now.

Isn’t that the plot of Terminator

Where do you think the plot for Terminator came from?

This is such a classic trainwreck post that has the vibes of a 2014 screenshot posted to Pinterest and then the last addition is just last Tuesday I can’t even

Imagine how I feel

It doesn’t have to

Yes it does.

Of course it has to, it gets a billion notes in 2041

“If I had time travel I’d kill Hitler” “If I had time travel I’d stop my favourite politician getting assassinated” you’re all thinking way too small. If I had time travel I’d stop Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from dying on the moon due to Soviet sabotage, kicking off the Great Nuclear War and devastating half of the planet.

Good Job.

do you think no one else has time travel

Happy one month anniversary to this post that has not allowed me a single day of fucking peace since I made it.

wow if only you had a time machine

Honestly having reached a billion notes I think it’s safe to say that in the Year of our lord 2041, this is the most popular tumblr post out there.

I’m killing your parents before you’re born

:)

Still here, why’d you hesitate @derinthescarletpescatarian

Your mum’s ability to hold up under active gunfire was really hot. I’m your dad now.

Isn’t that the plot of Terminator

Where do you think the plot for Terminator came from?

This is such a classic trainwreck post that has the vibes of a 2014 screenshot posted to Pinterest and then the last addition is just last Tuesday I can’t even

Imagine how I feel

It doesn’t have to

Yes it does.

Of course it has to, it gets a billion notes in 2041

what medium are you delusionally overconfident that you could ace on the first try despite having no familiarity fondness or experience with the craft i bet i could build a brick oven

one of the most frustrating subgroups here is people who have made no attempt to curate a sense of taste and get threatened by and lash out at people who have. like its not enough for them to enjoy wildly successful mainstream media, they need to be able to enjoy it without ever feeling self conscious for this. and you can make them self conscious about it just by straightforwardly talking about your own subjective preferences for less broadly appealing works. i feel bad for them because if you can only like stuff as long as majority consensus said its good youre just hardlocking yourself out of 90% of media on the planet. must suck to feel like any complete stranger with a blog has the capacity to prevent you from enjoying the kind of art you like.

You know I turned on the sound just to help me understand what was going on and I guess it was exactly what it looked like.

Ooh! Spot the industrial safety device! The worker has to press a 'stab the cheese' button with both hands. This is because if they're doing that, neither of their hands can be within the cheese stabbing zone.

This cheese is being stabbed safely

google search "how to want"

google search "desire for beginners"

not doomed by the narrative but certainly disciplined

put in timeout by the narrative

dommed by the narrative

i can't post anything

this isn't a hellsite it's a hellhome

YOUR TELLING ME THEY USED GOD AS A BASKETBALL?

people say dolphins are smart but there not smart enough to not be Shity grey rubber tubes flappin about in the gotdamn ocean

*they’re

congratulations! you are the piss lord of shit mountain. thank u for hefting turds down the mountainside so that we, the proles, may feast on your bounteous craps