#cap quartet

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Bucky: *struggling to eat a meal with only a fork*

Sam: You know they also gave you a knife, right?

Bucky: you know they also gave you a brain, right?

Natasha: Burn.

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Bucky, with a stoic face, watching Steve from a distance: the things I'd let that man do to me would concern the government

Natasha: I don't wanna hear that

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Natasha, angrily slapping Steve's chest over his tight shirt: HOW MANY CHILDREN DID YOU BREASTFEED, HUH? Why are they so BIG?

Steve, startled and feeling emotionally assaulted: huh????

Sam, slapping Steve's thigh: look at those CHILD BEARING HIPS

Steve: *isn't sure what to say*

Bucky, falling to his knees: I don't care how many children you mothered before. Please bear mine next

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Nat & Sam watching Bucky walk out shirtless:

Both at the same time: fuck, I'm gay

Natasha: *raises a brow at Sam*

Sam: *squinting at Nat*

Natasha: whore

Sam: bitch

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Natasha, talking about the show: have you seen breaking bad?

Steve, face stuffed with dry cereal: I break bad every day

Natasha: it's a show

Steve: I don't like making a show of violence, but if you're interested

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Sam: why is Barnes staring at the turned off TV?

Natasha: every TV is playing your favorite show if you're schizophrenic enough

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Steve: I started hitting this public gym, they say it's good for my socializing

Steve: I'm sorry, I lied. I actually started going because Sam works out there

Natasha, looking at her phone, wasn't even listening: mhm

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Sam: *randomly handing Bucky a water bottle*

Bucky: ???? What am I supposed to do with this?

Sam: shove it up your ass

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Bucky, talking about Steve: it's not my fault I got the fuckable one

Natasha, talking about Sam: it's not my fault mine is responsible. Besides, it's hot

Bucky: wow, imagine being into responsibility. Our priorities are so different

Natasha: mine is the eldest daughter/child assasin syndrome

Bucky: fair, respect

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Steve: *has been ranting for 7 minutes*

Steve: and it's all because I had to spend my entire childhood manually learning how others do things

Natasha: wow, that sentence just reminded me of the fact that you're autistic

Steve: NAT

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Steve: Hey, Buck, can we go to that new art museum on Sunday?

Bucky, not even looking up: Look at you, asking permission like a good boy. Who am I to deny you anything, of course we can go, doll face

Steve, blushing furiously: wha--?! stop using pet names like that! You know I'm sensitive to them

Bucky: I know

Steve: it shows, you jerk

Bucky: your jerk, and you loooove me

Steve: fuck you cause you're right

Bucky: fuck me even when I'm wrong, baby

Steve, can't fucking breathe: BUCKY!!!!

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Sam: how could you know that?! Are you stalking me again???

Natasha: look I'm telling you, I didn't stalk you! I normally would, but I didn't this time!

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Steve: *sulking in the quinjet after a mission:

Natasha: you've done such a good job at this mission, Steve

Steve: ????

Bucky: couldn't take my eyes off you. Perfect form, sweetheart

Steve: *ducking his head to try and hide a satisfied grin*

Sam: and your leadership, Cap. Absolutely amazing. Couldn't have asked for a better captain

Natasha: our favorite captain

Steve: are you guys conditioning me to feel better about myself???

Sam: well someone has to

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Sam: *telling Natasha about Steve and Bucky's fight in the helicarrier*

Sam: and then they fought, hand to hand, it was like watching gay porn

Natasha: I should have been there

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Bucky: I already dropped a marshmallow I don't think my mental state can handle any more today

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Natasha: this is a safe space

Sam: thank---

Natasha: mostly. you know I don't judge

Sam: um?

Natasha: much.

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Sam: can you stop antagonizing Stark for one day? It's not nice

Bucky: who's he gonna tell, his father?

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Sam: I have three new foreigner friends

Bucky: I have three friends

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Natasha: that's very sociopathic of you to say

Steve: every autistic I know is at least mildly sociopathic. So yes, we know the shit

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Bucky, to Sam: I'm sorry I talked about a deeply disturbing memory from my brainwashed days while laughing. Please stop acting like a therapist

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Bucky: I know over thirty languages but sometimes my brain just says a big fat "no", then I can't even form a sentence like "I am a pencil"

Natasha: are you a pencil?

Bucky: I... guess?

Natasha: good for you????

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Sam: I have vowed, in fights and in sex, to stand by your side

I’m pretty much done with school projects, and im currently working on a brief Marvel Band AU!! Specifically the Cap Quartet!! Here’s the first WIP!!

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Cap Quartet as Texts <3 part 4