"she thinks this is bonding behavior" my friend this has BECOME your bonding behaviour

Advanced maneuvers

Schmovement

hey boss can you show me where the forklift's self-destruct is so i can keep it from falling into the hands of enemy warehouse crews?

reblog this to reblog this from the person you reblogged this from

Additions from my husband: Bakers wear loafers and Zookeepers wear Crocs

Excellent additions.

Angels wear wingtips.

A lumberjack wears Timberlands.

Ice skaters wear slippers

Addition from my mom: delivery drivers wear vans

VERY good addition!

Achilles wears heels.

how is this post from this decade and not like 2012

I brought 2 cans of Dr. Pepper to a friend's party and we poured them into a saucepan to make hot Dr. Pepper, but it turned out we didn't like hot Dr. Pepper so we decided to keep it on the burner and reduce it down to Dr. Pepper syrup and then mixed that with soda water to make reconstituted Dr. Pepper, which it turned out we also didn't like

March

saying “can u not” to inanimate objects that are just following the laws of physics but in, like, inconvenient ways

Hamsterdam

Kontent

Theres no fukin betterer way zum flyen.