Nothing To See Here Comrade

My wonderful partner and I got to spend the whole day together, I got to meet a guy he’s been talking to and his partner and now we have new friends, we exchanged gifts and got stuff to bake GF goodies with and got fresh flowers

The guy im talking to wished me a happy Valentines day and showed off his garage and I got to hear him revving up his car and telling me about the detailing shop be wants to own one day😍

And ended the day with two needed haircuts and funky dancing to some stupid dj mixes ❤️

And for those people who have access to mobility devices but might benefit from a second chair they can abuse without risking expensive damage…

Erik Kondo has made a website, Open Source Innovations, that details plans for DIY wheelchairs. These wheelchairs can be made from common materials like wood, plastic, and pvc. They are lightweight and can be custom fit to the user allowing from the same degree of movement you would get from a custom chair. And they are durable and easily repairable. (he has been stress testing his latest design by dropping it down stairs, dropping it out of a car, launching it across a driveway, and throwing it off a deck). Its 12lbs and I think he said its was in the $200 ish range for parts.

So I just want to say, for the record, the time of the corona virus pandemic was not a time when america came together.

This was a time when people hoarded toilet paper and sanitizing supplies either for themselves or to sell at absurd prices to the desperate people who didn’t get to the store soon enough during the shortages

This was a time when scared parents were sending their kids to finish school in the spring in plastic trash bags because they couldn’t think of any other way to possibly keep their families safe

This was a time when grocery store and retail and service workers were forced to keep working whether they wanted to risk their health or not because they couldn’t make rent otherwise and the people with enough privilege to have remote jobs tried to repay them with applause instead of fair wages

This was a time when nurses had the hold the hands of multiple dying people every day as their families watched their loved ones die over a video call because the hospital couldn’t risk having visitors

This was a time when city governments had to handle so many eviction hearings that they rented out convention centers and called in the national guard instead of doing a rent freeze to stop predatory landlords

This was a time when racism and police brutality were so unbearably horrible that people protested in the streets for months even though there was a god damn pandemic that our federal government wasn’t doing shit to stop and the cops were so mad that they were being asked to stop beating up black people that they were beating up everyone

This was a time when schools being forced to reopen in the fall or lose their federal funding had to draft templates for letters if a teacher or a staff person or a fucking child died from exposure to corona at school

This was a time when the president of the United states demanded that the cdc stop releasing data about all the people who were dying because of the warnings he ignored for months were making him look bad

This was a time when some state governments didn’t mandate masks and forced businesses to reopen because they didn’t want to pay unemployment to people trying to stay safe at home anymore

This was a time when Jeff Bezos was on track to be a fucking trillionare because everyone was ordering things on amazon instead of going to the store and the people he worked to death to get it didn’t see a single cent of it

This was a time when instead of providing homeless people with housing, we painted boxes on the ground to show homeless people how far away the had to be on the street to maintain social distancing

We did not come together to make cloth masks. Cloth masks represent nothing less than the absolute and utter failure of a nation’s government to inform and protect its citizens

This was not a time when we came together. This was a time when we survived, and not all of us made it.

This was a time when people casually talked about how many human lives the economy was worth without considering the evil that had just come out of their mouths.

This was a time when thousands of us died for profit and the ego of a cheating narcissists con man who scammed his way into the white house

This was a time that we survived. Most of us tried to do the right thing, stay home, limit trips to the store and socializing, wear a mask. And still, so many of us were lost. Thousands every day.

But that wasn’t a good enough reason for some people, for those among us who were too selfish to recognize the responsibilities we have toward one another as human beings.

This was not a time that we came together

This was a time that we survived

Not all of us made it

It’s the man who flirts with cruelty and calls it banter. Who jokes about trauma. Who pushes past your no and calls it persistence. Who “accidentally” overshares to see how much you’ll tolerate. Who turn you into the punchline in front of people they want to impress—because your discomfort is their currency. Who touches you without consent and acts confused when you recoil. Who tells your secrets to someone who’s already hurt you. Who studies your reactions like a game and smiles when you flinch.

And it’s the woman who helps him. Who laughs when he mocks you. Who tells you to calm down. Who says he’s always been nice to me. Who shares your secrets. Who triangulates. Who fans herself with innocence while watching you unravel. Who wants proximity to power more than she wants to protect you. Who weaponizes softness. Who weaponizes plausibility. Who weaponizes the assumption that women are inherently safe.

They know exactly what they’re doing.

This isn’t awkwardness. This isn’t misunderstanding. This is strategy. This is cruelty dressed as charm. This is harm that hides behind social fluency. This is the machinery of abuse.

And when you speak up? You’re labeled dramatic. Paranoid. Unstable. Because covert harm doesn’t leave bruises—it leaves confusion. It leaves shame. It leaves silence. It leaves you isolated while everyone else praises the predator’s charm and the enabler’s innocence.

So let’s stop pretending.

Let’s stop pretending that men don’t know what they’re doing when they joke about your trauma. Let’s stop pretending that women don’t know what they’re doing when they laugh along. Let’s stop pretending that charm is character. That plausibility is proof. That softness is safety.

Let’s name it.

Let’s name the glance. The tone. The question that felt like a trap. Let’s name the man who tried to violate you. Let’s name the woman who helped him. Let’s name the system that protected them. Let’s name the silence that followed. Let’s name the truth.

Because until we do, survivors will keep being erased. Not because they weren’t harmed. But because their harm didn’t look the way we wanted it to.

And if you’ve lived it, you know: the predator doesn’t need to convince you. They just need to convince everyone else.