i think chris flemings is one of the only comedians thats going to get into heaven

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@bmanisoutofcontrol
i think chris flemings is one of the only comedians thats going to get into heaven

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“pillows expire after a year” “you need new shoes every 6 months” no thanks. even if that’s true it’s stupid i think i can sleep on a slightly deflated pillow
"Sure, some people will lose some rights and privacy, but at least we're protecting the kids!"
When I was 14, I used to carry a flashdrive with TOR on it to bypass the school's internet safety filters so I could get on Facebook and play flash games. Kids are smarter than you want to think. You aren't protecting shit.
tfw "popular" fanon becomes so embedded in a fandom & discussions within fandom spaces that people just start treating it as the default and all interactions with others are coloured by this interpretation. have you considered that I actually don't subscribe to this take, which is nowhere in the source material? wait nvm, clearly not.
I'm never muting this post I love learning about fandom beef I'd never ever considered before
“go early, it’s hard to find parking” you want public transit. “don’t go on weekends, traffic is terrible” you want public transit. “once i parked i had to walk half a mile to the entrance” you want public transit. “it took me an hour to get out of the area after the concert” you want public transit. “ugh somebody needs to DD” you want public transit. “can you drive? my car won’t start” you want public transit. you want public transit. you want public transit. you want public transit.

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my favorite part of the week is when we watch a guy turn chocolate into a fucking bike and we have to just accept that it happened.
AND THE HE SAT ON IT LIKE IT WAS A NORMAL BIKE
thanks @bmoharrisbankofficial but unfortunately i can’t focus on the very important message here because i’m too busy being confused by the fact that apparently if you send an ask with only one letter tumblr will bold that letter in the “asked you” notification text?? why the fuck would that be the case
fascinating
what the fuck is the backend of this site like
A fun but admittedly petty thing I do is when I see a post on social media where someone is saying “God bless Trump!! Pray for Trump!!”and suchlike, I comment, “Amen! Psalm 109:8-17!” And depending on the platform I’ll get likes/hearts/prayer hands emojis etc. but I’ve been doing this for months and so far no one has actually read the verse, I don’t think. Lol.
“the possibility of rejection is essential to forming deep relationships with people” - chanté joseph for british vogue
I humbly suggest that true crime freaks should get into learning about scammers instead of serial killers. I LOVE reading about fraud and grifts and pyramid schemes. true crime ppl have all this paranoid energy about murder, which is rare in the grand scheme of things.....maybe instead that could be channeled into some productive rage toward capitalism.
And u know a side effect of learning about scam artists is that you start to understand certain things about economics, and just how STUPID these systems are and how easily they are taken advantage of....and I'd much rather people gained a passing familiarity with economics than whatever armchair psychologist shit these true crimers get on. We need fewer people who think they're experts on "sociopaths" and more people who understand how people like Elizabeth Holmes and the WeWork guy were able to do what they did
Here are some of my favorite books about financial scams:
The Wizard of Lies: Bernie Madoff and the Death of Trust by Diana B. Henriques.
The Big Short: Inside the Doomsday Machine by Michael Lewis (about the 2008 stock market collapse).
The Caesar's Palace Coup: How a Billionaire Brawl Over the Famous Casino Exposed the Corruption of the Private Equity Industry by Max Frumes and Sujeet Indap. (I admit I've never finished this one; the writing is hard to read.)
The Great Beanie Baby Bubble: Mass Delusion and the Dark Side of Cute, by Zac Bissonette. I bought this book because of the subtitle and I have never regretted it. You must read it.
Catch Me If You Can by Frank Abagnale. They turned this one into a movie! The book was very different and is worth reading.
The Cult of We: WeWork, Adam Neumann, and the Great Startup Delusion, by Elliot Brown and Maureen Farrell. I haven't read this one yet, but it's on my tbr pile!
Opus: The Cult of Dark Money, Human Trafficking, and Right-Wing Conspiracy Inside the Catholic Church, by Gareth Gore. I'm reading this one right now. The author is a financial journalist who stumbled onto this story by unraveling a bank failure in Spain.
And here's a list of more non-fiction books about fraud and financial scams. The first book on this list is about Theranos and Elizabeth Holmes, which I also haven't read yet.
Enjoy!

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IVE HAD THIS QUEUED SINCE MARCH AND IT DIDNT POST ON AUGUST 19TH U HAVE NO IDEA HOW PISSED I AM
(Video Transcript:)
A tired looking man in a grey suit holding a cd.
“I shall see you on August 19th”
He then throws the cd.
(End Video Transcript)
*He throws the CD with the most bizarre “aaigh!” that cracks a little in the middle
no little punk girl don't walk into the lightning storm! your outfit is so conductive! little punk girl nooooooo
the lighting strikes her eyebrow piercing and travels down the spikes on her jacket to the chains on her pants down the hooks of her boots till it's grounded in the 2 inches of rubber at the bottom of her stompers and she blinks comically, pulls out a mirror, admires her newly fried hair, and walks away happily
Money fucking sucks. It distorts everything: relationships, decisions, timelines, who gets to feel safe and who doesn’t. It turns something like “home” into a math problem. That’s brutal, and unfair, and I hate it so much.
The sunrise Tuesday was epic.
Welp.
Hey, real talk though? If you're in the USA, right now you need to call your representatives. 11.8 million people could lose health insurance because of this, as well as a lot of other shit going down, so speak up.
Go to 5calls.org, put in your location, and make the calls. Do it after business hours if you're worried about actually to a person, but do it.
We're running out of chances with this, please please do this now, while it's still possible to stop this.
Due to the amendments made, this is going back to the House to be voted on again, so yes, you should still call them.
I'm not great at talking to people, and I can't express enough just how easy 5calls makes this process. The longest call I've had with them took 3 minutes. That's it.

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reblogging this to add that I often think about the old man yaoi mangaka on bluesky who said "the phrase that finally convinced me that the English language is truly beautiful was 'this shit is so ass'"
i said what i said
Toothpaste. It's just frozen toothpaste.