pov: you're a tumblr user reading a post

go my brick 🫳︵🧱

I want a burger and a shake from 5 Guys but unfortunately I don't have $59.95

they locked my beautiful wife Edit Button away in the meatball menu. she's so scared in there. i have to go on a quest to save her

you are doing ghost of christmas past torment to me

my best friend linen my brother in arms cotton my partner wool my beautiful sister silk

our sick deranged enemy polyester....

the demon lord, prince of lies, "Vegan Leather"...

does a single vivziepop character leave the onceler BMI bracket or are they all build like garden shed tools

none of these words are in the bible

I am a huge fan of retiring to my quarters

Your boyfriend starts mumbling in Latin in his sleep and it scares the hell out of you but upon translation he’s introducing himself, inquiring on the price of grain, attempting to sell dormice, brainstorming silly Saturnalia gift ideas. In his sleep he somehow becomes a 1st century BC plebeian, of modest means but with a pleasant outlook on mundane life.