but ykw at least i'm not on mount everest. at least i'm not paying tens of thousands of dollars to slowly suffocate in a 300-person line at the gates of hell. never in my life will i have to be steered in a hypoxic stupor through the maze of poop and corpses atop mount everest. on this earth a lot of horrible things can happen to you without your permission but there are a few that you have to opt into. you can just say no thanks! and be guaranteed never to have to be on mount everest. much to be grateful for actually

still not on mount everest this morning 😌 alhamdulillah

*experiences joint pain* we are losing the skeleton war

fellatio sounds like a supporting shakespeare character rather than oral sex on a penis to be honest

having a belly outline while wearing a dress is a very beautiful and sexy accessory. anyone who tries to tell you otherwise is getting put in the shredder

accidentally referred to someone’s elderly rescue dog as their secondhand dog and I feel like that was a massive linguistic failure on my part 🧍‍♂️…their Goodwill chihuahua

dog somebody adopted after the previous owner died, call that an estate sale dog

i’m so glad goncharov happened pre ai slop era

#weird way to describe 1973 but i guess it’s accurate

*at a family gathering* you’re all like coworkers to me

there will be layoffs

My monkeys are attempting to overthrow me and take over my circus via violent proletarian revolution

happy pride month to whatever ben affleck and matt damon have going on